Dealing with betrayal
Betrayal usually comes from the most unlikely of people – people whom you thought you could trust and confide in – like a close friend, a family member or a partner. Sometimes we can be betrayed by those who we think should be grateful for all of the assistance we have provided them in the past – like helping a classmate with homework. It’s a painful feeling because there’s a trust that’s been broken. But what exactly is betrayal chomas, and is there a way through getting over the betrayal?
Betrayal is to hurt someone who trusts you by revealing private information to a rival or by breaking a promise. Basically when trust has been broken, then usually a betrayal has happened.
The thing about betrayal is that we sometimes want to hang on to the anger and blame that person - we want to hang on to the fact that someone let us down. In truth, all that it does is stop us from moving forward. Betrayal can be hard to come to terms with but forgiving the person who betrayed you is possible. How you react to the betrayal will determine how you move on.
Take care of yourself first
Understand and feel your emotions. Betrayal may bring on feelings of anger, embarrassment and heartache. It’s OK to allow yourself to feel those emotions because your trust has been broken by someone you truly valued. Keeping your emotions in may negatively affect your current and future relationships because you did not allow yourself the opportunity to properly grieve. Take your time to identify your emotions and don’t be too hard on yourself when you do get angry or sad. Once you give yourself time to feel, you will be able to work through the emotions without blaming yourself or others. You can do this by writing out your feelings or writing a letter to the person who betrayed you. Wait for at least a week before you send it, though.
Take time to make life-changing decisions
When you have been betrayed by someone you trust, you sometimes think of cutting all ties with that person. You might also be tempted to use harsh words to describe that person on social media. Wait before you make these kinds of decisions, breathe and step away from your phone chomas because after a few weeks, you’ll find that your feelings have changed about that person. It’s not worth it!
Avoid taking revenge
Find professional help immediately if you feel like physically harming yourself or others. Don’t think about taking revenge because you will most likely regret it later.
Talk to someone
Find someone you can honestly discuss the betrayal with. A good friend or therapist to talk to can help clear your head and can be healing for you.
Talk to the person who betrayed you
Communicate your feelings of the betrayal to that person who broke the trust. You can only do this properly once you have identified your emotions to yourself first. Once you have done that, it becomes easier to talk to that person without putting blame on yourself or that person. If you’re struggling, why not start with:
“I feel that you betrayed my trust when you said something private to ….”.
If you need to practise first, then do it chomas. You can go back to that letter you wrote when you first found out about the betrayal and see if your feelings for that person have changed or not. Sometimes, writing something out first can help you express your feelings. You can also read it clearly to that person.
Try and remain open with the person who betrayed you as you move on. Listen to their fears and share yours with that person too. Whether you decide to carry on with the relationship/friendship or not will depend on you chomas. The point is to learn from this experience and let it go because it will free up space within you to create the love you want.
Have you ever been betrayed? How did you handle it? Share your comment in the comment section below.
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