Can you be friends with your ex’s ex?
Have you recently met a girl whose company you enjoy and think you two could be great friends? Or have you been talking with each other for a while now and realised that this friendship has potential to be great? Then, during one of your conversations, you both find out that your friend and you both used to date the same guy. How do you feel? What are you thinking? Does this mean your friendship won’t survive all because you used to date the same guy? Here are ways to approach this without ruining your friendship, chomas.
Out with the old
As painful as it is to break up with someone, that doesn’t mean that you can’t move on. You can still be friends with someone who used to date your ex, and create new friendship circles. What happened in your past does not define your future chomas.
Don’t be the enemy
Identify your reasons for being angry with her – is it because she’s dated a guy that you used to once date? If the ex-girlfriend starts arguing with you, be the bigger person by calmly asking her why she’s angry with you. By doing so, you will have changed the situation from a fight to finding a way to get along.
Focus on their positive qualities
Think about this person and ask yourself what made you want to be friends with them in the first place. If possible, write down the qualities you admire in them. Find out what drew you to this person in the first place. By focusing on the good qualities, you end up remembering everything you liked about them to begin with.
Resist the urge to gossip about them
Gossiping about others, especially about a girl who used to date your now ex-boyfriend may come across as you being jealous of them. It’s going to be difficult to do, so you’re going to need to make as much effort as you can to not talk badly about them.
Find out what you share in common
You already share something in common – you both used to date the same guy. So, you both know certain things about this guy that most people don’t. So start off with what you both like, whether it be a love for a similar hobby, finding out what your shared interests are is a great way to connect with your would-be friend. This can help bring both of you closer.
It’s natural to feel slightly awkward and insecure as a new friendship begins, especially if it’s with your ex’s ex. Enjoy the process of making a new friend. The relationship you both had with this guy is now in the past and passing up the opportunity for a great friendship all for an ex-boyfriend would be such a pity. If it’s one thing both your ex did well, is to pick awesome women as partners.
Do you have any questions about this topic? Share in the comments below.
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