How to tell someone you are not ready to have sex
So you’ve recently started dating or have been dating someone for a while and you have not had sex yet. Then your partner suggests that it’s time for you two to have sex but you believe that you are not ready. Here are some ways you can tell your partner that you are not ready choma:
Preparing for your conversation
Rehearse the conversation that you want to have with your boyfriend ahead of time, whether in front of a close friend or even by yourself in front of a mirror. When the opportunity arises, like when your partner asks you why you don’t want to have sex with him/her yet, you’ll be prepared with an answer.
Your partner may say “If you love me, then you would have sex with me.” You could respond by saying. “If you love me then you wouldn’t want me to do something I’m not ready to do/want to do.” Or your partner may say, “Why are you making sex is not such a big deal.” Then you could reply with; “In that case, what’s the rush?”
There is power in preparation choma, it helps you stick to your decisions more where people are left with no choice but to respect you.
Communicate your feelings to your partner
It’s important to communicate your desires and feelings to your partner so that your partner isn’t confused when it comes to understanding why you don’t want to have sex. The more open you are with your feelings, the closer you and your partner may get. This form of communication may open up other forms of intimacy that bring you closer as a couple.
Set healthy boundaries
The more you respect each other, the more you respect each other’s boundaries (regardless of whether you agree with them or not) and the closer you get. That’s how a healthy relationship develops, by learning how to set healthy boundaries. If you are both able to listen without criticising each other, then the chances of supporting one another are higher. That’s the kind of relationship worth having.
Remember that the decision to have sex is a personal one, therefore you choose who to have sex with, where and when to have sex. Choma, to make sure that you don’t pressured into changing your mind, first look at the reasons for deciding to wait. Once you know your reasons for waiting, it becomes harder to be pressured into doing something you don’t want to do because you know what you want – and that’s to wait to have sex. Own you decision choma!
Choma, never allow someone else to make the decision to have sex for you, including your partner. Understand the reasons for waiting and respect those choices. Trust that having sex will happen in its own time. Sex is fun, so make sure the moment you eventually decide to do it you enjoy it too and do so safely! Always use a condom every time you have sex choma.
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