5 things you should not tolerate in a relationship

While no relationship is perfect, there are certain behaviours that you should never tolerate from a partner. Here are 5 examples of things you shouldn’t allow in a relationship.


Relationships work when both partners respect each other’s opinions, beliefs and boundaries. Someone who doesn’t respect you is likely to say and do things that demean you and hurt your feelings. If you experience this in your relationship, it might be time to walk away.


Someone who cares about you and wants to be with you will make sure that you know this and assure you of your place in their life. If your partner doesn’t want to ‘put a label’ on the relationship or makes you feel insecure about where you stand with them, then it might be a sign that they aren’t serious or ready to be in a committed relationship.


Abuse in any form should never be tolerated.  No one deserves to be abused whether it’s physical, sexual or emotional. Getting out of an abusive relationship can be really difficult, which is why it’s important to get the support that you need. You can contact the TEARS foundation or FAMSA for counselling and assistance getting out of the relationship. Remember, abuse is never your fault and you never have to go through it alone – I’m here if you need to talk.


Being in a relationship doesn’t mean that you belong to your partner or that your partner belongs to you. You can be together and still enjoy different interests and hobbies with other people. If your partner doesn’t give you space to do the things that you want and controls who you see, or what you wear, then these are toxic behaviours and you shouldn’t tolerate them.


Dating someone who lies can be draining and cause a lot of heartache. Honesty is essential in any relationship and without it, you can’t fully trust your partner. A dishonest partner can’t be expected to be faithful or truthful about things like their HIV status, sexual partners or history.

Someone who loves you will be honest, trustworthy and compassionate towards you. It’s important to prioritise your happiness and not tolerate any behaviours that make you feel insecure or put your mental and physical health at risk. Know when to choose yourself by walking away.

If you or a friend need advice or help, you can contact me here on Ask Choma, send me a Facebook Messagea Twitter DM, or a WhatsApp Message (071 172 3657).