5 Things your partner shouldnt do during sex

If you’ve gotten to the point with your partner where you choose to have sex, this probably means you’ve spoken about it with each other and now feel comfortable enough to go ahead with it. But sometimes it’s not always obvious to know what’s wrong or right during sex, especially if you’re still new to it. So here’s a list of 5 things your partner definitely shouldn’t be doing during sex.

Pressure you to have sex

Before you and your partner even decide to have sex, it should be something you’ve both spoken about so that you’re both sure you want to. You shouldn’t feel like you have to have sex with someone just because you’re in a relationship with them, but rather because you’re comfortable and you both feel like you’re ready for it. Remember that even if you’re in the middle of having sex, you can decide to stop. If for whatever reason you want to stop having sex, your partner needs to respect that.

Make you do something you’re uncomfortable with

It can be great to explore doing new things during sex with your partner, but you don’t have to do anything you’re not comfortable with. This is why it’s so important to be able to talk about sex to your partner, so that you both know your boundaries and your limits. A partner who respects you will be willing to take things slowly with you and move at your pace.

Make you feel pain

Sex might feel uncomfortable the first time you have it, but in general, it should never feel painful. If you partner makes you do things (like having dry sex) that are painful for you, you should let them know that you’re not comfortable. Remember that you don’t have to put yourself through anything you don’t want to, because you should be enjoying sex as much as they are. Painful sex is also a risk to your health, and can lead to tearing of the vagina- which means a higher risk of sexually transmitted infections.

Ignore you

If your partner is ignoring what you want during sex, this isn’t a good sign at all and could mean that they only want to please themselves. Choma, a partner who wants to have sex with you will always make sure that they meet your needs and listen to you when you say you don’t like something they’re doing.

Take the condom off without your consent

This is called “Stealthing” and it’s when your partner removes the condom without you knowing, or without your consent. This is really dangerous because it puts you at a really high risk for sexually transmitted infections and unplanned pregnancy. It’s also a violation of trust and a sign that your partner doesn’t respect you the way they should.

At the end of the day, sex involves two people and so it should always be a rule that BOTH people are respected and considered. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to and absolutely no one has the right to force you into doing things that are uncomfortable. Your partner forcing you to do things during sex that makes you uncomfortable is actually sexual abuse.  Always put yourself and your health first Choma.

Remember, if you or a friend need advice or help, you can contact me here on Ask Choma, send me a Facebook Message, a Twitter DM, or a WhatsApp Message (071 172 3657).

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