Are your arguments healthy or unhealthy?

It’s normal and important for relationships to argue from time to time. All couples have arguments at some point or another so it’s not unusual for you and your partner to have disagreements; in fact, it’s healthy. It’s very normal and important to disagree on things Choma, because everyone is different and has different opinions and perspectives on things. As a woman, it’s important to be able to express your opinion to your partner and to be heard. Sometimes your partner may say or do something that you disagree with or are not comfortable with. It’s important to communicate to your partner, and a healthy argument should be encouraged. Here’s how to tell whether your arguments are healthy or unhealthy.

Healthy: You can laugh about it afterwards

It’s good to be able to laugh something off, when you have both settled down and perhaps apologised to each other. Laughing it off doesn’t mean that you don’t take each other’s opinions seriously, it just means that you know not to let arguments get in the way of your relationship.

Unhealthy: You say insulting and hurtful things

An argument is unhealthy if you exchange nasty words or say really hurtful things to each other. No matter how upset you get with someone, disrespecting them should not be an option. If you and your partner say hurtful things to each other during arguments it can come across as abusive.

Healthy: You’re able to move on

A healthy argument is one you can walk away from and not one that will ruin your entire day. A healthy argument  or debate shouldn’t make you feel stressed out or make you feel like you’re unable to concentrate on anything outside of your relationship. You should be able to feel like the disagreement was temporary and one that you can easily talk to each other about and move on from. 

Unhealthy: It’s hard to get over arguments

Feeling like every argument is the end of the relationship or like it’s something you and your partner simply can’t recover from is not healthy Choma. Having an argument about small things once in a while is okay, but huge arguments all the time could be a problem.

Healthy: You’re able to talk about it

In a healthy argument, you and your partner can talk it through and admit where you were both wrong. You’re able to reach some sort of solution and agree to work through it together. Healthy arguments involve communication and problem-solving.

Unhealthy: You start avoiding certain topics

If you start to avoid certain topics because you don’t want to start an argument or feel like you’re walking on broken egg shells around your partner then this could mean that your arguments are not healthy. Being in a healthy relationship means being able to talk about anything with your partner and not being afraid of them or of certain topics. It’s about trusting your partner and your partner trusting you to be able to talk about everything in a safe space.

It’s important to understand whether your arguments with your partner are healthy or not so that you can look at whether there is a bigger problem in your relationship. Healthy communication is important, so talk to your partner more about the way you argue – and try to come to an understanding.

For more articles about healthy relationships, read:

Does your relationship make you feel better or worse?

Am I in an unhealthy relationship?

Is your partner a bad influence?

Small ways you’re mistreating your partner

Remember, if you or a friend need advice or help, you can contact me here on Ask Choma, send me a Facebook Message, a Twitter DM, or a WhatsApp Message (071 172 3657).