Emotional and health risks of being a side-dish

So, Choma, let’s say you’ve just found out that the person you were dating, is actually in a relationship with someone else. This could be absolutely heartbreaking and for many people, the best thing to do would be to leave the situation and cut all ties with that person. But what happens when you decide to stay with that person anyway? Well, staying with someone who is in a relationship with someone else, therefore being their side-dish, comes with emotional and health risks. Here’s what I mean Choma:

You risk getting your feelings hurt

Even if in the beginning, you’re okay with being involved with someone in a relationship, there’s always a chance that you’ll come to develop serious feelings for the other person and begin to expect certain things that they’re not willing to give you. Developing feelings wouldn’t be a problem if you were both single, but Choma, even if they’ve promised you they’ll leave their partner for you, there’s no way to know for sure that they’re telling the truth. After all, will you really be able to trust someone who cheats on their partner?

You might struggle with trust issues

A lot of people walk away from having an affair with trust issues. Most of the time, it’s because they realise how “easy” it can be to keep the lie going when cheating on a partner. Having trust issues that run deep can prevent you from being in a truly healthy relationship with anyone in future, because you’ll always be worried that you’re being cheated on, and so these trust issues often turn into commitment issues and so the cycle of cheating starts all over again.

You risk Sexually Transmitted Infections (STIs)

Being a side-dish means you’re more at-risk of contracting STIs, including HIV. This is because cheating in itself is risky behaviour, especially if you’re having unprotected sex. And if the person you’re sleeping with is having unprotected sex with you, there is a chance they are doing the same with other people. This is a risk you should never take, Choma. Protecting yourself sexually should always be a priority.

Being involved with someone who’s in a relationship might seem fun and thrilling at first, but there are always risks that are more harmful than being caught out, like feelings of guilt or having to deal with a STI. These kinds of risks show us that it’s far more worth your time to love yourself and respect people’s relationships. Of course it’s never one-sided, but you always have the power to know you deserve better than to be put second in your partner’s life.

Remember, if you or a friend need advice or help, you can contact me here on Ask Choma, send me a Facebook Message, a Twitter DM, or a WhatsApp Message (071 172 3657).

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