Flirting Dos and Donts

When it comes to flirting, you might have the best intentions – but sometimes it can all go wrong with a bad approach. If you feel like this happens to you too often, here are some dos and don’ts when it comes to flirting.

Flirting dos

Hold respectful eye contact

Now I don’t mean you have to stare the person down at all, respectful eye contact can help you get someone’s attention and show your interest. A polite smile to go with “that look” can do a lot for making a connection.

Start the conversation

If you’ve given eye contact but they still seem a bit shy, why not walk over and start the conversation. Introducing yourself is a good first step, but always remember to keep it light as the conversation goes. Get to know your crush a little bit while still leaving room to get to know them better at a later point (maybe on a future date).

Give a meaningful compliment

Paying a compliment to someone when you’re nervous to talk to them can mean your words might come out in a way you don’t mean for them to. Always compliment your crush on something you honestly like about them, especially if it’s about more than just their looks (such as their kindness, patience, skill in a sport you’re both interested in etc.). A meaningful compliment is always more memorable than a cheesy one!

Flirting Don’ts

Don’t touch without asking

Before you even say anything, you want to try get your crush’s attention, right? But grabbing or touching them without permission isn’t the way to go. To a lot of people, this can come off as a threat and will instantly turn them off you. Asking for permission to do anything is a better way of showing your best intentions and that you respect someone’s personal space.

Don’t ignore body language

While you’re speaking, are they facing their body away from you? Or do they look like they’re in a rush to leave? Look out for signs like this to let you know whether they’re interested in the conversation or not.

Don’t play hard to get

Playing hard to get might not always come across as interest in a person, and a lot of the time it only makes you seem uninterested. It’s always better to be upfront and honest to whoever you’ve got your eye on. Sending mixed signals is never a good idea.

Don’t forget to listen

Starting a conversation with someone only to ignore them and keep interrupting them is just plain rude. If you’re really interested in someone, you’ll want to hear what they have to say. Really listening to someone while they’re speaking shows that you’re genuinely interested in them and their thoughts. Which can go a really long way!

Even if your flirting isn’t received the way you hope it will be, what you should never ever do is insult someone because they’re not interested. Rejection can hurt but it’s easier just to move on.

More than anything flirting while you’re nervous can be tricky, but if you just present yourself honestly and with respect, you’ll eventually find someone who sees the real you, and likes you for who you are.

Remember, if you or a friend need advice or help, you can contact me here on Ask Choma, send me a Facebook Message, a Twitter DM, or a WhatsApp Message (071 172 3657).

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