How to be respectful to women when you’re out

So many women speak about the fact that they’ve felt defenceless and couldn’t do anything when a guy was harassing or bothering them while they were out. Sometimes guys may have good intentions and don’t mean to be disrespectful, but it’s important for them to understand how to be more aware of the way they treat women. This is why I’m sharing this article, to help guys remember how to show a little more respect to women when you’re out. So if you’re a guy (or know a guy), read on.

Don’t go “scouting” for women

Sometimes men will go out only to try their luck at meeting or “hooking-up” with women. When this is the main reason you’re out, it will usually come across in how you speak or act around women throughout the night. This can be a problem if women start to feel that you’re being “pushy” with them. Remember that being out should be about having a good time with you and your friends.

Don’t harass women

Did you know that harassing a woman when you’re out isn’t only about physical interactions? Following a woman around, lurking around her or stalking can also be a form of harassment and can make her feel very uncomfortable. If you want to get her attention to speak to her, walking up to her and introducing yourself is a much better way to start the conversation.

Keep your hands to yourself

You should never start a conversation by touching or grabbing her. This is even more important if you’re dancing with her- if she gives you the go-ahead to hold her waist while you’re dancing, then it’s okay, but it’s always a good idea to keep your hands to yourself unless you’re sure. Even if you’re touching her and she’s cool with it, don’t get greedy and grab, that can come across as aggressive.

Know when to take rejection

Some of the most common things a girl will say when she doesn’t want to dance or interact with you are:

• No/ I’m not interested

• I have a boyfriend

• I don’t feel like it

Or she might just walk away. It’s so important to know these and other signs of rejection and to remember that she’s allowed to reject your approach, even if you’ve bought her a drink or she’s danced with you for a while. You’re not entitled to anyone’s time or attention, and besides, being rejected means you can go back to simply having fun with your friends, enjoying your time out.

Remembering these few things as well as knowing what consent means, will help you in respecting women when you’re out.

It’s also important that you, as a guy, help intervene when you notice a woman being harassed or disrespected when you’re out. Even if the person bothering the woman is your friend or someone you know, teaching them why their behaviour is wrong can help contribute to making social places a lot safer for women out there. We should never make an excuse for harassment. Here’s an article on what to do if you witness harassment.                                                                                

Remember, if you or a friend need advice or help, you can contact me here on Ask Choma, send me a Facebook Message, a Twitter DM, or a WhatsApp Message (071 172 3657).

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