How to reclaim your power in a relationship

A healthy relationship is about the mutual decision to love, care, respect and to build something together. It’s also about shared power, so that you and your partner can express your thoughts, opinions, and feelings equally.

What does a healthy relationship look like?

A healthy relationship is one where you feel safe, are allowed to be vulnerable with your partner and able to give and receive empathy. People in healthy relationships are able to communicate well and form deeper connections with each other.

Set boundaries

Boundaries are rules and expectations regarding what you’re comfortable with and how you’d like to be treated. It’s important to have an idea of what you’re willing to accept and what you aren’t and be able to communicate it.

Talk to your partner about what your personal and relationship boundaries. It’s important to be honest with yourself and your partner about these boundaries to make sure they’re respected. Here’s what healthy boundaries look like.

Be clear on expectations

In any relationship, expectations and rules come from setting clear boundaries. Being clear on these with yourself and your partner creates a happier, more fair environment where you can both grow. It’s never too late to start speaking about your expectations, as long as you’re aware that each expectation has benefit both partners equally.

There’s no set way of giving or receiving love, Choma, so until you tell your partner how you expect to be loved, they may not know. For example, you can talk to your partner about your love language, as well as other things you expect, such as regular dates, daily phone calls and exchanging symbols of affection. Setting expectations also involves communicating that you want faithfulness, compassion, respect, and quality time. It’s also a way to create rules and expectations when it comes to sex and, more importantly, making sure that all sexual activities are based on mutual consent.

Relationships aren’t always easy, but making sure that power is evenly shared in the relationship makes it easier to navigate the difficult parts. Healthy relationships challenge you to grow and become the best version of yourself. If you’re in a relationship where you feel disempowered and disrespected, then it’s a clear sign that change needs to happen for you to take back your power.

Should you or a friend need advice or help, you can contact me on Ask Choma, send a Facebook Message, a Twitter DM, or a WhatsApp Message (071 172 3657).