Question of the Month How can I tell if someone isnt interested in me

A while ago, I wrote an article about how to say “no” to someone you’re not interested in, but let’s switch the roles for a moment. A question I’ve been asked a lot recently is how to tell if someone is just not into you. Even though it’s not always easy to tell, there are definitely some signs that will let you know. So here they are:

They ignore/ghost you

Have you been speaking to someone for some time (or at least trying to) but it just seems like they leave your messages with blue ticks and don’t answer your calls? This is a sign that you’re being ignored or ghosted (here’s more on what being ghosted means). Someone who’s interested in you wouldn’t ignore you, because they want to speak to you.

They don’t open up to you

Someone who’s interested in you will always want to let you know more about themselves and what they’ve been through. When they don’t, it means they don’t feel like letting you in and opening up to you.

They’re always too busy to see you

If it feels like every time you try to make plans to meet up but they cancel at the last minute without a reason, they’re probably not interested in spending time with you. Someone who wants to be with you will always let you know in time if they have to cancel plans you’ve made, and will always try make an arrangement for another day- because they actually want to see you.

They’re never physically affectionate with you

A big part of attraction is physical attraction, so when someone avoids being physically affectionate (like hugging or holding hands) then they’re probably not interested. People like to share their physical space with people that they feel comfortable around, so if the person seems off-isa towards you in this sense then it could be a sign they’re not really interested in you.

Choma, remember that if someone isn’t interested in you, it doesn’t mean that there’s anything wrong with you or them. Sometimes two people just aren’t the right match for each other, even if you’re really interested. You don’t have to change yourself to try be appealing or attractive to anyone, because the best version of yourself is always your truest self!

Remember, if you or a friend need advice or help, you can contact me here on Ask Choma, send me a Facebook Message, a Twitter DM, or a WhatsApp Message (071 172 3657)