Female condom use Q&A

Most of us shy away from using female condoms because male condoms are more accessible. We’re also conditioned to think that it’s only a male’s responsibility to carry condoms. Because of this, there is a lot of confusion around female condoms. Here are some FAQs about female condoms.

Can a female condom and male condom be used together?

The answer is no, Choma. The friction caused by the two condoms can lead to tearing of either one or both the condoms. Using one condom (either male or female) gives equal protection to both partners.

Why does the female condom seem so large?

A female condom is actually similar in length to a male condom. However, it’s wider than a male condom. Once inserted, it lines the walls of the vagina and allows for movement of the penis inside the sheath. It also provides extra protection by covering part of the external female genitalia and the base of the penis.

When can I insert the female condom?

The benefit of the female condom is that it can be inserted up to 8 hours before sexual intercourse depending on the type. This’ll ensure that you’re good to go when things get heated between you and BAE. Be sure to read the packaging instructions carefully. Here’s how to insert the female condom.

Can I re-use the female condom?

Re-use of any condom is a big no; this applies for both male and female condoms. A new condom should be used every single time you have intercourse. Be sure to wrap the condom with toilet paper and throw it in the bin. Do not flush the condom down the toilet or throw it on the floor.

Can I use the female condom when I’m on my period?

The female condom doesn’t interfere with menstruation.  However, you can’t use a tampon and the female condom at the same time.

Can the female condom disappear in my body?

The female condom covers the cervix and doesn’t go any deeper. Therefore, it’s impossible for a female condom to disappear inside your body.

Are female condoms harder to use than male condoms?

As with most barrier methods, it can take a bit of practice to use this method correctly. As long as you’re clear on how to use it correctly, you should get the hang of it.  

Can I use female condoms during pregnancy?

You can use the female condom when you’re pregnant, since the condom doesn’t move beyond the cervix.

Female condoms guarantee the same protection as male condoms if you use them correctly. The female condom also puts the power in your own hands, regarding safe sex. If you have more questions about the female condoms, share them with me below.  

If you or a friend need advice or help, you can contact me here on Ask Choma, send a Facebook message or a Twitter DM, or a WhatsApp Message (071 172 3657).

Using a condom: 7 answers to common excuses

Condoms, if used correctly and consistently, are the only form of protection that can prevent the transmission of sexually transmitted infections (STIs) and unplanned pregnancy. If your partner has an excuse not to wear a condom, it’s NOT okay and you don’t have to accept their excuse. Here are 7 common excuses you’ve probably heard, and some responses to use.

Excuse 1: “It doesn’t feel as good with a condom”.

Response: “Using a condom will make me feel more relaxed, if I am more relaxed, I can make it feel better for you”.

If the condom feels uncomfortable, you could be using the wrong size. Condoms are available in different sizes, it’s just about finding the right fit. it’s a good idea to try out different brands and sizes until you find one that works for you and your partner.

Excuse 2: “I don’t have an infection, trust me”.

Response: “I trust you, but people can have infections without showing any symptoms, let us rather be safe than sorry”.

Not all STIs show visible symptoms, so it’s always a good idea to use a condom every time, to protect yourself.

Excuse 3: “I love you; can’t you do this for me”?

Response: “I love you too, but we need to protect ourselves and not risk our future. If you really love me, you will respect my decision”.

Being in a healthy relationship means that you’re mindful of your partner’s health and respect each other’s decisions.

Excuse 4: “Just this once”.

Response: “Once is all it takes”.

The risk of contracting an STI or facing an unplanned pregnancy can happen anytime you have sex, even if it’s your first time having sex.

Excuse 5: “I can’t feel anything with a condom”.

Response: “It may not feel better with a condom, but an STI will feel worse”

Wearing a condom can still feel good and be intimate. If your partner is concerned about not feeling anything, ultra-thin condoms are the way to go.

Excuse 6: “It interrupts our passion”.

Response: “Not if I help you put it on.”

You can always help your partner put the condom on as part of foreplay. The use of a female condom is ideal, as it can be inserted hours before sex. This will prevent any interruptions. Just remember NOT to use a female and male condom together at once. Wearing one condom is good enough.

Excuse 7: “I don’t have a condom”.

Response: “I do!”.

It’s important for women to take control and share the responsibility of carrying condoms. This shows that you care about your health and your future. Female condoms are a great choice. It’s always a good idea to be responsible for your own protection and have your own condoms when your partner doesn’t have one.

Using a condom is all about responsibility and having respect for one another. You have the right to protect yourself and your health. Knowing how to respond to your partner about using a condom can protect you from STIs and unplanned pregnancy. 

If you or a friend need advice or help, you can contact me here on Ask Choma, send me a Facebook Messagea Twitter DM, or a WhatsApp Message (071 172 3657).


5 Reasons female condoms need more attention

When you hear the word “condom” what immediately comes to mind? Probably the male condom right chomas? But what about the female condom? You may have heard about it, but not enough times for it to stay in your mind – not even when it comes to using it during sex. Even though you don’t hear about them often, there are quite a few benefits to using a female condom, also known as “femidom” or the “internal condom”.  So here are reasons that we should give female condoms more attention starting now:

1. They’re Sexy

This may be hard to believe, especially for those who have seen what the female condom looks like. But, don’t let the appearance put you off. A lot of people who have tried the female condom (and used it properly) have said that it felt even better than the male condom. While there are mixed reviews about them, the lack of awareness and just not knowing how to use them is often what makes people uncomfortable. Choosing to use this condom with your partner can actually be fun and sensual. These condoms are thin and soft so they are good at transferring heat while the inner and outer rings can actually increase pleasure for both partners.

2. They’re non-latex

Allergic to latex? No problem. The female condom is not made with latex so it’s a perfect alternative for anyone who is allergic to condoms (so you know what to use when your partner says they can’t use the male condom because of an allergic reaction). They’re actually made of a thin, soft plastic called polyurethane. Since the female condom is latex-free, you can use an oil or water based lube with the condom during sex.

3. It might feel better for your guy

Some guys often complain that the male condom is a bit tight and therefore decreases pleasure. Well, when it comes to the female condom that shouldn’t be a problem. The condom lines the vagina a little loosely so it doesn’t restrict the penis. It would also be good for guys who claim they are too ‘big’ for male condoms.

4. It can be inserted long before sex

The female condom can be inserted up to 8 hours before sex, which is great for making sure that you’ve got protection in the heat of the moment. The good thing about being able to put it on ahead of time is that you don’t have to pause to put a condom on so you can go straight from foreplay to stress-free safe sex!

5. They’re empowering

The female condom puts the power in your hands. Now you don’t have to accept any more excuses from anyone because the female condom allows you to be in control of your own pleasure and protection. So simply go to your local clinic and ask one of the nurses or staff for a female condom. Go with your friends if it will make you feel less shy. While you’re there, you can ask one of the nurses to explain how it works. There are also plenty of tutorials online that demonstrate how a female condom is inserted. Just make sure that you insert the condom properly and that the outer ring remains over the vagina to prevent the penis from slipping in on the side of the condom and to makes sure that you’re protected from contracting STIs through skin-on-skin contact. If you have questions or an opinion on the female condom, let me know in the comment section.