Being curious about sex, whether you’ve had it or not, is completely natural. You might have searched the internet for answers and this probably led to you watching pornography at some point in your life, especially as sexual urges start developing, and that’s okay. But it’s important to know that porn isn’t an accurate representation of what sex between you and a partner might be like. So here are 5 things that watching porn won’t teach you about real life sex.

How to ask for consent

Consent is when both partners are comfortable enough to agree to have sex without being forced. This stage will usually happen before two people engage in sex, and it’s important to remember that consent can be withdrawn or taken away if one partner changes their mind about having sex- which is okay. Here’s how to ask for consent.

How to have safer sex

The truth is that pornography won’t show you when a condom is being put on, and this might make you think it’s not an important part of having good sex, but Choma, being safe and protected is the most important step you can take. You can learn how to use a female condom properly hereand a male condom properly here. 

You have the right to say no

Let’s say your partner wants you to do something that you’re not really comfortable with, you have the right to say no, for example, if they want to try anal sex. Choosing to have sex with someone is about you and your partner being comfortable enough to enjoy it the way you both want to, Choma.

Not all bodies look the same

The truth is that most people don’t have the kind of “perfect” bodies you see on screen, and that’s okay because your body is unique and beautiful in it’s own way. Remember that sex isn’t about what you or your partner look like, but how much you trust each other and how you feel about each other. Here’s more about understanding your growing body

Sex should never be violent

Sometimes sex can be portrayed as violent or abusive, but it should never ever be that way. If your partner respects you, they would never do anything to emotionally or physically harm or abuse you. Here are signs of sexual abuse in a relationship.

Healthy, safe sex between two consenting people can be a great way to build intimacy. But you should always remember that what you see in pornography isn’t real life- so here’s more advice on keeping your expectations realistic so you can both have a good and wholesome experience.

Remember, if you or a friend need advice or help, you can contact me here on Ask Choma, send me a Facebook Message, a Twitter DM, or a WhatsApp Message (071 172 3657).