Growing up comes with a lot of experience, and a lot of times it also comes with realising your past mistakes and wishing you knew better when you were younger. Last year I asked Chomas what they wished they knew when they were younger and the responses were quite insightful. Here’s just a few of them. Hopefully you’ll find a lesson or a word of advice in here for yourself!  

The best gift you can give yourself is to love yourself unconditionally. And that in life, there are no deadlines. “Patience is virtue” – Lily Mothapo 

You should be your first love Choma. When you love yourself, all your decisions just become better and your life feels more meaningful. Also don’t compare yourself to anyone – be patient with your own journey. You’ll get there when you get there. I love this advice from Lily.  

Take your time. – Mqoboli Nobhithi Madlamini 

Just like with Lily’s advice, Mqobile advices that you take your time. Remember, no one is living the life that you’re living so you can only live your life and run your race according to your own pace. Don’t rush into anything. 

Choose yourself and your mental health. Be selfish with your time and protect your energy at all times. – Letlotlo Molope 

If you’ve been following Choma’s social media pages you will see that I talk a lot about self-care. Taking care of your physical, mental and emotional wellbeing is so important. This is why I’m so glad Letlotlo also offered the same advice.   

Trust your gut! It will never let you down. Always follow peace – Palesa Mbalo 

If something feels too good to be true, it probably is. And if something feels wrong, it probably is. Trust yourself to protect yourself, you’ll realise that your first instincts are usually right.  

Live a little. Strict all study/work, no play leaves you friend-less, unsociable and lonely. – Surprise

It’s good to have focus and drive, but it’s also good to take time to enjoy your friendships, your family connections and your life in general. Always leave space for fun and joy in your life.  

That boys can play u without letting u know – Nozipho Noluhle Ntombela  

Relationships can get complicated, that’s a fact of life. It’s important to understand that relationships can end, heartbreak can happen and partners can disappoint you. So don’t get blindsided by love, always be aware of what’s happening and whether your partner is affecting you negatively. Prioritise healthy relationships over the ones that are simply exciting and ones you know won’t last.  

That without Grade 12 life is very hard out there… – Amothabile Ntha Peu 

School is such an important part of your life. Not only do you learn valuable life skills and gain knowledge, you also allow yourself to become more qualified for different working positions. Don’t give up on school, no matter what. Even when things get tough, work hard and believe in your ability to overcome.

There you have it Chomas, some sound advice from other Chomas about what they would tell their young selves. What advice would you give your younger self? Let me know in the comments below.

Remember, if you or a friend need advice or help, you can contact me here on Ask Choma, send me a Facebook Message, a Twitter DM, or a WhatsApp Message (071 172 3657).