#DoneWithSilence: Tivania Moodley: The importance of self-love


Tivania Moodley is an author and a fierce supporter of speaking out. She fully supports the #DoneWithSilence campaign and has decided to use her story to break her silence and help many others do the same. If you missed part one of her story Choma, you can read it here. In this article, Tivania talks about the importance of self love and offers her advice for loving yourself in the time of social media influence.

*Remember, if you want to create your own #DoneWithSilence post, you can create a post on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram. Just tag @chomamag and use the hashtag #DoneWithSilence

We live in dangerous times. Social media has intensified body-shaming and judgment and it’s so easy to compare ourselves to others. With so many filters available, we are given completely unrealistic beauty ideals which can make us feel completely less-than. From the time I was a young girl, I hated the way I looked. I was too tall, too dark and too thin to fit into what society dictated was pretty. I hated myself for years because of it, and because of how I struggled to fit in. There was no place for my ‘type’ in the 90s. I loved poetry, drama and writing but that was not the ‘right’ interests to have. A serious career meant becoming a doctor, lawyer, teacher or accountant. That is where you would earn respect.

This belief system and self-hatred carried on into my thirties. Despite my looks changing, despite achieving a reasonable amount of success in the corporate world, I was not happy. I still hated myself and hated what I looked like, and most importantly, I was still not doing what I loved. My journey to self-love began only six years ago, when, for the first time in my life, I fell in love with my own personality and discovered my true purpose. I chose to focus on what I am looking AT rather than what I look LIKE. I chose exactly what to follow on social media and surrounded myself only with positivity and what makes me feel better and not less than. This decision was a calculated one, to ensure that I stay on my own path and not compare myself to others, which I know will not serve me.

Self-love is the hardest thing to master and takes a lifetime to get right. But it begins with being true to yourself, embracing your good and bad parts and knowing that you’re here for a divine purpose. This acceptance is necessary to succeed in every aspect of your life – from your career to your relationship success. Knowing who you are and embracing that difference, will set you apart from the pack and allow you to flourish. This is something I learnt the hard way. When I truly began to see myself differently and accept and honour the girl I was and the woman I have now become, I realised my true potential and the greatness I was made of. I am now vocal about my journey, my experiences and most importantly, my own uniqueness. I am #DoneWithSilence and hope all of you join me in this quest to be better and more accepting of yourselves despite what people say”.


Learn more about the #DoneWithSilence campaign and the importance of speaking out to create social change and how you can become a social media activist here.