Good relationships are based on trust and mutual agreements. Feeling like you must have sex with your partner when you don’t want to, can have a great impact on you. Sometimes you wind up having sex with your partner to protect their feelings while neglecting your own. No one has the right to pressure you to have sex with them, even if you are dating.

What does sexual pressure look like?

This is when someone tries to take control, exploit, or influence your feelings, or thoughts into having sex with them, this can also be in a form of manipulation. An example would be your partner saying that you must have sex with them because you’re dating, even though you don’t want to. You then end up doing it just to please them.

Things you can do:

List your boundaries:

You need to be assertive when you feel pressured to have sex. Remind yourself that you have every right to say no and that there’s nothing wrong with that. What you want matters just as much as what your partner wants.

Seek out people who respect you:

Love and relationships aren’t about forcing people to do things they don’t want. One of the ways to ensure that you’re valued and not pressured to have sex is by being around people who respect your decisions.

Exercise your right to say “no!” 

A practical way to keep reinforcing your belief is exercising your right to say no. Know what your needs are, and what you want. Remind yourself that you don’t owe anyone anything.

Remember Choma, it’s your body and you don’t ever have to do anything you don’t want to do. Sex is not an obligation; therefore, it has to be on your terms.

If you or a friend need advice or help, you can contact me here on Ask Choma, send me a Facebook Message, a Twitter DM, or a WhatsApp Message (071 172 3657).