Celibacy means abstaining from any sexual activity by choice. There are many reasons people choose to be celibate – for some it’s a decision driven by their spirituality or religion or a decision they simply make for their own personal reasons. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with choosing to be celibate since sex is a completely personal decision and it’s about doing it when you are ready.  Having a delayed sexual debut (meaning you choose to wait longer before having your first sexual experience) as well as having a secondary abstinence (which means you choose to remain abstinent from sex even after you’ve already had sex) are both forms of celibacy. Although celibacy is a perfectly healthy choice, it us understandable that it can be difficult when you’re in a relationship. Here are ways to stick to your choice when your relationship starts to challenge it.

Communicate your decision with your partner

Explain your decision to remain celibate as soon as possible so that you and your partner get on the same page. Explain whether your decision to be celibate is short term or longer term. If you’ve been in a relationship for a while, also explain to your partner why being celibate is so important to you so that they understand your decision and respect it.

Stay Committed

With clear goals and intentions, you and your partner should stay committed to each other, and your decision. It might be challenging and put your relationship to the test but if you and your partner both respect your decision and stay committed to it, you can get through it.

Avoid temptations

It’s important to avoid situations that will possibly influence you to break your celibacy. So, try other things like outdoor activities such as picnics, hiking or exercising and so forth. These activities might even bring you closer as you focus on getting to know each other rather than on being sexually intimate. Read here for more tips on how to be intimate with your partner without sex.

Find support

It’s not only important to get support from your partner, but from others around you as well. Speak to others, friends for example, who are also on the same path as you. Speaking to others who are living the same or a similar kind of lifestyle will help you get through the challenges of celibacy – if you find any.

Being in a relationship when you’ve made the decision to be celibate can be challenging but it’s not impossible. As long as you’re with someone who understands and supports you. There’s more to a relationship than sex and, at the end of the day, it’s important to be in a relationship where you’re valued for your personality and attitude above anything else. 

Celibacy is a lifestyle change that a lot of people choose and take seriously, so don’t feel discouraged or feel like you’re alone. If you believe being celibate is the best decision for you, that’s all that matters.

Remember, if you or a friend need advice or help, you can contact me here on Ask Choma, send me a Facebook Message, a Twitter DM, or a WhatsApp Message (071 172 3657).