Finding out that you’re pregnant can come as a major shock, especially if you’re not ready for a baby. Here’s my advice on dealing with such emotions.

It’s okay not to be ready

There are countless reasons why you might not be ready to have a baby. This could be due to your financial situation, or you could still be in school. Raising a child is expensive and it’s a good idea to have the means to raise the child.

It’s OK to not be ready to have children. Feeling pressured and obsessing over what your partner or family wants isn’t going to help you. The choice needs to be yours. Having a baby because you think it’ll make your partner fall in love with you or stay with you isn’t a good idea, Choma.

Talking to your partner

Although it might seem scary to disclose this to your partner, they have a right to know. By law, you’re required to inform your partner if you’re pregnant with their child and you can’t legally terminate without their knowledge.

It’s best that you calmly talk to your partner about your decision to NOT keep the baby. This includes being respectful to their feelings, allowing them to speak about how they are feeling regarding this topic. Keep in mind that there might be some resistance from your partner if they feel they’re ready for a baby.

These talks might feel heavy or stressful, but they don’t have to be if you put the well-being of your partner into consideration. You might reach a compromise and decide on a time when you’re both ready.

The importance of being ready

Children deserve to be raised in a healthy environment by parents who are financially and emotionally ready to raise them. If you’re still growing, it’s probably best to have a baby when you’re more mature, and sure that you’re with the right person with whom you can raise a baby.

If you’re facing an unplanned pregnancy, you have options. You can consider safe termination. You can book at your local clinic or Marie Stopes as they offer safe and legal termination services.

Another option is putting the baby up for adoption. This will involve you carrying the baby for the full term. You can visit this website to find out more about the process.

It’s okay if you feel it’s not the right time to have a baby, especially if you don’t have the financial means or if you’re still in school. The important thing is to speak to someone you trust, like an older family member or teacher, who’ll be able to guide you further. Using condoms and other contraceptives such as the pill, patch and injectables is an effective way to prevent an unplanned pregnancy in future.

If you or a friend need advice or help, you can contact me here on Ask Choma, send a Facebook message or a Twitter DM, or a WhatsApp Message (071 172 3657).