Being in a relationship can be incredibly rewarding. However, it can be easy to lose parts of your individuality amid those good feelings. To some degree, this can be an expected part of falling in love. Falling in love can be exciting, and it’s natural to want to spend all your time with the one you love.

A person may end up giving up parts of who they are in a relationship to be accepted and this is when they lose their identity. You may find yourself:

• No longer doing activities you once enjoyed.
• Not making time for your friends.
• Sacrificing your own happiness. There is a difference between compromise and sacrifice, this is when you would rather skip your desires to please a partner. When this happens often it shows that you may have lost your identity in the relationship.
• Being afraid to speak up. You have lost the power to communicate your needs and wants.

How to rediscover your identity:

Pursue your personal aspirations that define you.

Entertain your personal passions outside your relationship. If you have a hobby you used to love doing on your own or with other people when you were single, continue to do it. If you’ve become lost in your current relationship, start finding new hobbies or entertainment that bring out your very best qualities and make you feel secure within yourself.

Don’t feel guilty about saying No.

The hardest part of maintaining your own identity occasionally means saying no to your partner. Many people struggle to say no due to feeling guilty and the fear of being rejected or abandoned in the relationship. A healthy relationship is about respect and understanding, so your partner should never make you feel guilty about working on your individual needs that make you feel happy.

Remember Choma you are your own person, and no one can ever take the power you have within, if you have lost it, it is possible to reclaim it.

If you or a friend need advice or help, you can contact me here on Ask Choma, send me a Facebook Message, an  Instagram message, a  Twitter DM, or a WhatsApp Message (071 172 3657).