Making the decision to engage in sexual intercourse is a big deal because it comes with a lot of consequences – be it emotional or physical risks (like an unplanned pregnancy or STI (Sexually Transmitted Infection). When you have sex, it should be because you’re ready and you want to. Here are signs that you’re having sex for the wrong reasons. 

You’re doing it because everyone is doing it

Just because your friends are sexually active doesn’t mean that you should be pressured into having sex as well. You shouldn’t be doing things simply because they seem to be “the in thing”. Sex, at the end of the day, is about how you feel about it – not how everyone else feels about. 

You want to get it over with 

Sex should not be something you’re trying to get over and done with. There is absolutely no rush to have sex. And also remember that just because you’re flirting and making out with someone, it doesn’t mean that you have to now have sex with them. 

It’s important for you and your partner to understand what consent is – and just because you’re not sure about something – doesn’t mean that you have to be convinced to change your mind.

You think it will make you wise and matured

First of all Choma, that is not true. Sex will not make you wise or matured. Maturity can be measured by the responsible decisions you make when it comes to taking care of yourself, not by having sex. 

To keep your partner happy

If your partner truly cares for you, they will not pressurise or rush you into having sex with them. They will respect your decision to wait until you feel that you’re ready. Also, they will not manipulate you into thinking that you’re making them unhappy by not having sex with them. 

To get back at your ex

Dealing with a broken heart should not encourage you into having sex with other people just to hurt your ex. That’s a big mistake that will delay your healing process and you might end up hurting yourself. 

You have a bad feeling about it 

When you have a bad feeling about having sex, then this is where I say you should follow your gut. Your uneasy gut feeling is just your body’s way of waving red flags and you should totally listen to it.  

When you’re about to have sex and you feel very nervous, doubtful or unsure, then you should definitely hold off from doing it. Read this article for more signs why you shouldn’t be sleeping with someone. 

Remember, if you or a friend need advice or help, you can contact me here on Ask Choma, send me a Facebook Message, a Twitter DM, or a WhatsApp Message (071 172 3657).