Using a condom: 7 answers to common excuses

Condoms, if used correctly and consistently, are the only form of protection that can prevent the transmission of sexually transmitted infections (STIs) and unplanned pregnancy. If your partner has an excuse not to wear a condom, it’s NOT okay and you don’t have to accept their excuse. Here are 7 common excuses you’ve probably heard, and some responses to use.

Excuse 1: “It doesn’t feel as good with a condom”.

Response: “Using a condom will make me feel more relaxed, if I am more relaxed, I can make it feel better for you”.

If the condom feels uncomfortable, you could be using the wrong size. Condoms are available in different sizes, it’s just about finding the right fit. it’s a good idea to try out different brands and sizes until you find one that works for you and your partner.

Excuse 2: “I don’t have an infection, trust me”.

Response: “I trust you, but people can have infections without showing any symptoms, let us rather be safe than sorry”.

Not all STIs show visible symptoms, so it’s always a good idea to use a condom every time, to protect yourself.

Excuse 3: “I love you; can’t you do this for me”?

Response: “I love you too, but we need to protect ourselves and not risk our future. If you really love me, you will respect my decision”.

Being in a healthy relationship means that you’re mindful of your partner’s health and respect each other’s decisions.

Excuse 4: “Just this once”.

Response: “Once is all it takes”.

The risk of contracting an STI or facing an unplanned pregnancy can happen anytime you have sex, even if it’s your first time having sex.

Excuse 5: “I can’t feel anything with a condom”.

Response: “It may not feel better with a condom, but an STI will feel worse”

Wearing a condom can still feel good and be intimate. If your partner is concerned about not feeling anything, ultra-thin condoms are the way to go.

Excuse 6: “It interrupts our passion”.

Response: “Not if I help you put it on.”

You can always help your partner put the condom on as part of foreplay. The use of a female condom is ideal, as it can be inserted hours before sex. This will prevent any interruptions. Just remember NOT to use a female and male condom together at once. Wearing one condom is good enough.

Excuse 7: “I don’t have a condom”.

Response: “I do!”.

It’s important for women to take control and share the responsibility of carrying condoms. This shows that you care about your health and your future. Female condoms are a great choice. It’s always a good idea to be responsible for your own protection and have your own condoms when your partner doesn’t have one.

Using a condom is all about responsibility and having respect for one another. You have the right to protect yourself and your health. Knowing how to respond to your partner about using a condom can protect you from STIs and unplanned pregnancy. 

If you or a friend need advice or help, you can contact me here on Ask Choma, send me a Facebook Messagea Twitter DM, or a WhatsApp Message (071 172 3657).