What body language means in a relationship

We use body language in everything we do, and in relationships, body language is important because it can express things that we are struggling to communicate verbally. Here are a few things you should know about body language in a relationship. 


If your partner is constantly fidgeting (being uneasy) when they are with you, that could mean they are uncomfortable or nervous about something. If you see your partner do this, ask them if anything is wrong. Don’t be rude or mean about it, ask them in a calm manner so that they feel more comfortable opening up to you.

Eye contact

It’s believed that the way you look at someone communicates a lot of things, like interest or hostility. This means your partner making eye contact with you could mean they are listening attentively to what you have to say. However, at times it could indicate that they are confused about something you said – which then gives you the opportunity to explain further, or ask them what their thoughts are on the topic.   

Physical space

Physical space, especially in a new relationship is important. When your partner is attracted to you, they want to be near you a lot. Taking pictures side by side is also a good sign that you’re attracted to each other.


We use touch as a way to connect with our loved ones. Holding your partner’s hand or hugging them is a common nonverbal cue. Just make sure that your partner is comfortable with touching, especially if the relationship is new. Always ask for consent. 


Posture is very important. It says a lot about how your partner is feeling, even about the relationship. Usually, if your partner leans towards you, or faces you (even with their legs) it shows they are interested in you and what you’re saying, If they cross their arms or move away from you it could mean that they are being defensive or are not interested in something you’re saying.

Paying attention to your partner’s body language can tell you a lot about what they might not be communicating with you. Of course, it’s also important to focus on the things that they do and the other red flags or green flags in your relationship to fully understand where your relationship stands. However, it’s always better to ask your partner about something you picked up rather than to assume the worst because open communication is key.

Remember if you or a friend need advice or help, you can contact me here on Ask Choma, send me a Facebook Messagea Twitter DM, or a WhatsApp Message (071 172 3657).