What does it really mean to love yourself?

In the spirit of Valentine’s, I thought it would be important to take a moment to focus on loving ourselves. We spend so much time showing other people how much we care, but don’t often take time to show ourselves love and respect.

While most people may feel that it’s a bit self-centred to show yourself love, there’s actually nothing wrong with self-love. Love should always be intentional. In other words, the kind of love you show yourself must be easily identified by you. Read on to see what it means to love yourself.


Self-acceptance is basically all about acknowledging things about yourself that you can’t necessarily change. Your personality, body shape, your gender identity (how you personally see yourself, e.g male, female, both or neither), or even your status may cause you to feel uncomfortable but they form just a small part of your identity.

Accepting every aspect of yourself also allows you to focus on your strengths as a valid part of your identity.


Once you’ve accepted your strengths and weaknesses, the next step is showing yourself respect. You may be used to showing older people in your life respect, but guess what? You’re important too and should treat yourself with respect because you’re worth it.

Positive self-image

A positive self-image is basically having a positive view of yourself. This means choosing to see yourself as a beautiful, smart and worthwhile person who has a lot of good things to offer.

Remember, you’re not denying that you’re human and that you make mistakes, but you’re allowing your strengths to shine through. A positive self-image isn’t really hard to achieve when you’re able to respect and accept who you are.


Self-compassion is being gentle and kind to yourself. The outside world can be harsh but you don’t have to be. Show yourself kindness daily by telling yourself true and positive words.

These four qualities sum up the meaning of loving yourself. Remember that love’s a doing word. Which means that you need to practice these four things every day. It’s okay if you find it hard at first but remember self-love is important. Keep in mind that you’re also worth the love you’re giving other people.

If you or a friend need advice or help, you can contact me here on Ask Choma, send me a Facebook Messagea Twitter DM, or a WhatsApp Message (071 172 3657