What is Asexuality?

A person who identifies as asexual is someone who does not experience sexual attraction or has no interest or desire for sexual activity. Asexual (a.k.a Ace) people are often misunderstood because a lot of people find it unusual for someone not to be sexually active or even sexually attracted to anybody.

Asexuality is a sexual orientation just like any other sexual orientation – for example heterosexuality (being sexually attracted to people of the opposite sex) and homosexuality which means being sexually attracted to people of your own sex.

Types of asexual identities

Sexual attraction is different for every person and asexuality has different identities. These are the few different identities:

1. Demi-sexual – A person who does not feel any sexual attraction, unless they have a really strong emotional connection with someone else.

2. Grey-ace – A person who sometimes feels sexually attracted to someone else. They basically have a low sex drive and they don’t always feel the need to act out on their urges.

3. Asexual romantic – A person that does not feel sexually attracted to anybody, but they prefer being in a relationship or having a romantic partner.   

4. Asexual aromantic – A person that does not feel any sexual or romantic attraction to anyone.

Myths about being asexual

Let us be honest Choma, when we are with our friends we discuss a lot of things, including our crushes and when someone never talks about who they’re attracted to, we often think  it’s weird, right? Well, here are the myths about asexuality:

1. An asexual person doesn’t date

We are all different, so we have different personalities and preferences. Some asexual people date while others don’t. Most of those that do date, usually refer to their relationships as romantic orientations even though they don’t have sexual relationships.

2. An asexual person does not have a sex drive

Being sexually active varies from one person to the other, so some ace people may have a low sex drive, a normal sex drive or even a high sex drive and that is totally normal.

3. Asexuality is the same as celibacy

Asexuality has nothing to do with celibacy because celibacy is a choice that you make not to have sex for a certain reason like religion or waiting for marriage, while asexuality is an orientation.

It is very common for us to assume that everyone feels sexual desire and attraction, or we think that relationships never work without being sexually active. But there are many different sexual orientations and there is no one way for everyone to be. Gay, straight or asexual – we all the same at the end of the day.

To learn more about being LGBTQIA (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Questioning, Intersex or Asexual), read these articles:

Myths about being LGBTQIA

LGBTQIA: We need an inclusive democracy

How to be a LGBTQIA ally

Remember, if you or a friend need advice or help, you can contact me here on Ask Choma, send me a Facebook Message, a Twitter DM, or a WhatsApp Message (071 172 3657).