What it means to have a healthy relationship with yourself

Choma, I want you to be honest with yourself when you answer this question. Are you driven by other people’s opinion of you? In other words, do you feel happier when people say positive things about you and really down when you don’t get the approval or validation you need?

If your answer is yes, then you might not have a healthy relationship with yourself. Having a healthy relationship with yourself means being confident in what you believe about yourself and how you see yourself. Here’s more about what it means to have a healthy relationship with yourself:

Understanding your emotions

Being in a relationship with yourself teaches you to understand your own emotions, the same way you would with a partner. It means that you don’t beat yourself up for feeling angry or sad when you need to. You also don’t keep yourself from feeling happy and joyful because you understand that it’s good for you.

Appreciating yourself

A relationship with yourself encourages you to appreciate and love yourself more. When you value yourself, you set a standard on how to be treated by others – and that is important for any relationship you get into.

Accepting who you are

Choma, nobody is perfect and having a healthy relationship means understanding that. You accept your flaws and celebrate who you are.

Make it a habit to look at yourself in the mirror and affirm that you are worthy of being loved and accepted, especially by you!


Self-care means taking care of yourself physically, emotionally and mentally to make sure that your whole being feels well and in balance. It is one of the most important aspects of having a healthy relationship with yourself. When you prioritise your physical, mental and emotional well-being, you are prioritising a healthy relationship with yourself.

Being kind to yourself

In a relationship with yourself, it is important to be kind to yourself, which means knowing that mistakes can happen – so you don’t have to beat yourself up or criticise yourself harshly.

Be gentle with yourself and take responsibility when you have to, so that you can know what to work on in order to improve who you are.

Self-love is the most important relationship that you can have in your life because it is the foundation of every relationship that you will form in future –  be it friendships or romantic relationships. If you know who you are and what you stand for, then you will have good relationships with others.

Remember, if you or a friend need advice or help, you can contact me here on Ask Choma, send, send me a Facebook Message, a Twitter DM, or a WhatsApp Message (071 172 3657.