When your friend opens up to you about their sexuality, the last thing that they need is to be judged or told that “the signs were always there”. In order for you not to hurt their feelings, I have compiled a list of what you should do if your friend shares with you that they are gay.

Be supportive  

Coming out can be a really challenging and hard time for anyone that is part of the LGBTQIA (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer/Questioning, Intersex and Asexual) community, and the most important thing to do is support and love them at all times. 

Be an ally  

Being an ally means that you support the LGBTQIA community and you believe that their rights are just as important as everyone else’s rights. Never abandon your friend or change how you treat them because of their sexuality. They are still the same person.

Thank them for opening up  

Look, Choma, it’s not easy for someone who is part of the LGBTQIA community to disclose their sexuality because of the stigma and stereotypes that they may face. When your friend opens up to you, it means that they trust and respect you; so let them know that you’re thankful that they had the courage to tell you and respect them back by not spreading the news until they’re ready to let other people know.

Ask if they need anything

Sometimes, your friend might not want much but to know that you care for them and you’re willing to make yourself available when they need you.

There’s nothing wrong with your friend being gay. In fact, every LGBTQIA teen and their loved ones should know that it’s not just a “phase” or “attention seeking”. Being part of the LGBTQIA community doesn’t change anything about you except who you are attracted to. There’s no need to be ashamed of who you are and I want you to always know that you are special.

Don’t forget that if you or a friend need advice or help, you can contact me here on Ask Choma, send me a Facebook Message, a Twitter DM, or a WhatsApp Message (071 172 3657).