What to do when your partner questions their sexuality 

While there is still a lot of discrimination against anyone who is part of the LGBTQIA (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer/Questioning, Intersex, Asexual) community, a lot of people are unlearning the long-time myths about being LGBTQIA  and, thankfully, becoming more accepting of same-sex relationships. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with being anything other than heterosexual (straight) but it can be understandably difficult when it’s your partner questioning their sexuality. So what can you do in that situation? Here’s some advice:

Provide an ear 

It might be hard initially, but it’s important that you support them during this process by being non-judgmental and creating a safety net for their emotions – especially since it must’ve been hard for them to open up to you. This experience can be both nerve-wracking and exciting for them, so listen to your partner without interruption and acknowledge their feelings. That way, you will both be able to learn more about each other.

Don’t put a label on it

During this process of your partner’s self-exploration, avoid the urge to define their sexuality by putting a label on it because it will put unnecessary pressure on them. It’s okay for them not to be sure, feelings of confusion are normal. However, it’s best you let them go through this in a way that’s best for them. For more on the difference between bisexuality and questioning, read here. 

You can assure them that they are not alone

No matter how different your partner’s sexuality is, you should reassure them that there are plenty of people that are just like them and that they’re not alone. Being a support system to your partner during this process will mean a lot to them. 

Express your feelings 

Now that you know that your partner is questioning their sexuality, it is only fair for you to be honest and tell them how you feel so that your feelings are not disregarded and they know where you stand.

Although this will bring up different feelings on your side, there’s no need to jump into conclusions and assume that the relationship is over because your partner discovered that they might be attracted to a different gender – unless they express that that’s what they want. Although this advice will help your partner get through what they’re experiencing – you’re not pressured to follow it if you’re not comfortable Choma. You might feel differently about your relationship but just remember that is important to have an open and honest discussion with your partner. 

Also remember that if you or a partner need advice or help, you can contact me here on Ask Choma, send me a Facebook Message, a Twitter DM, or a WhatsApp Message (071 172 3657).