Month: July 2023

Unpacked: How To Nurture Your Child’s Mental Health

Posted on by Michelle Sephofane

August is Child Health Month, a time in which we discuss various issues affecting children and how we may best support them. We recognise the benefits of healthy habits as parents, and with mental health concerns in children on the rise, more parents are recognising the value of supporting and nurturing their children’s mental health. Here are some ways you can help your child:

Be intentional.

You can nurture your child by paying attention to his or her verbal and nonverbal cues. This will assist you in determining when your baby needs help or someone to talk to.

Balance closeness and fulfilment.

A positive relationship with your child is one of the most effective approaches to combat mental health challenges. Look for opportunities to lead with empathy. This can help in the development of a healthy relationship, making it simpler for your child to come to you when they have a problem.

Allow your child to experience failure.

As parents, we often desire to protect our children from heartbreak or disappointment. However, these experiences play an essential role in developing a child’s mental health. Remember that failure promotes growth, understanding, and even empathy.

As long as your child is safe, consider standing on the sidelines and being ready to support and encourage them when they need it the most, rather than fixing a problem as soon as it happens.

Encourage connections.

Social health is a vital part of our mental health. We are wired for communication. Building relationships teach us how to be better friends and essential social skills like reading and responding to nonverbal signs. This is beneficial for your child, so make sure they develop healthy social skills.

Model good behaviour.

Modelling healthy behaviour is one of the most important ways we can help our children’s mental health as parents. This includes being honest about your feelings without going into too much detail and showing how you recover from a mistake to show that you’re human too.

Make healthy choices.

We should continue to encourage healthy choices that benefit physical, emotional, and mental health, including:

  • Eating a healthy diet
  • Being physically active
  • Getting plenty of sleep
  • Teaching digital hygiene or responsible use of technology

Remember Choma, a strong foundation in childhood can lead to a healthy, happy, and productive child. Good mental health contributes to strong relationships and better health at home and school. Let’s nurture our babies👼🏽

If you or a friend need advice or help, you can contact me here on Ask Choma, send me a Facebook Message, an  Instagram message, a  Twitter DM, or a WhatsApp Message (071 172 3657).

How To Get Over A Breakup

Posted on by Michelle Sephofane

Breakups can be very tough to handle by both men and women and they can bring so many emotions like confusion, rejection and heartache especially if you still have feelings for your ex. All these emotions are a normal reaction to the end of the relationship even if things ended in a healthy way.

Everyone is left with processing why the relationship ended, and this often leads to going through the stages of grief. While there is no magical cure to heal a broken heart, there are plenty of healthy ways to help you to move on and these are some:

Try To Keep Your Distance from Your Ex.

Even if you and your ex have decided to stay friends or be in communication, this can have negative effects as you might find yourself wanting to go back. Rather move away completely from each other right after the breakup. This means not seeing each other, not being around each other’s circle and not calling or texting each other. You don’t have to stop talking altogether, but you do need to cut all communication for as long as it takes to get completely over them.

Know That The Pain You Are Feeling Is Normal.

After a breakup, it is normal to feel sad, angry, confused and have other emotions. You might worry that you will end up alone or that you won’t find love again. Just remind yourself that it is normal to feel this way and that you need to feel these emotions to move on.

Remove Painful Memory Triggers.

There are different kinds of things that can remind you of your ex like a song, a smell, a clothing item, or a certain place. These things can make it harder for you to recover from the breakup. It can be beneficial to clear your space from all these triggers so you can focus on your healing.

Allow Yourself To Grieve The Loss Of The Relationship.

The end of a relationship can leave a big hole in your heart, which may require a significant period of time to grieve. Make sure that you give yourself time and permission to grieve this loss and experience the pain it comes with. If you feel like crying, screaming or whatever you need to do to get your emotions out. Do it.

Get Out And Do Things.

When a relationship ends, it is okay to have some time to yourself at home. Also consider getting back out there after processing your feelings. Make plans, go out with your friends, and have fun. At first it might seem awkward, but it will get easier with time, and it will help you to feel better. You don’t need to go out with people all the time, you can also do solo dates.

Getting out and doing things helps you grow and maintain your social network after the breakup, this will help you to move on with your life.

Beware Of Rebound Relationships.

Often people will quickly enter a new relationship after a breakup; this type of relationship is called a rebound relationship, where you want to quickly replace your ex. Getting a rebound is common, but it is not always a good idea because you may be hiding your emotions with the excitement of the new relationship. Consider remaining single until you have fully processed your emotions and gotten over the breakup.

Remember Chomas, recovering from a breakup takes time but try to remember that things will get better as time goes on. In the meantime, be gentle with yourself and don’t hesitate to reach out if you need support.

If you or a friend need advice or help, you can contact me here on Ask Choma, send me a Facebook Message, , an  Instagram message , a  Twitter DM, or a WhatsApp Message (071 172 3657).

Relationship Advice: Is It Too Soon For Me To Move On?

Posted on by Michelle Sephofane

If you’ve recently broken up with someone, it can be tempting to go back into the dating scene. But is there a specific amount of time one should wait before moving on? While there’s no specific formula for figuring out how long you should wait, most people generally need some time to bounce back after a breakup. Other’s may need a couple of months and if you need more time, that’s ok, everyone is different.

Taking a break from dating after a breakup isn’t just about nursing your feelings, it’s also about figuring out what you’ve learned from the relationship so that you can carry it over to the next one. Everyone is different and there is no need to rush into anything when you are not ready. These are some ways you can see you are ready to move on or not:

Assess whether you feel excited about dating again.

Meeting a new person after a breakup can be quite tricky, but you must ask yourself if you are moving on to avoid feelings of pain or want to pursue a relationship with this person. Check in with your emotions and physical reactions and if you’re really into the idea, then it can be a sign that you are ready.

Ask yourself if you still have feelings for your ex

After a breakup, you’ll probably still have a lot of feelings for your ex for a while. If you still feel sad, angry, or hurt whenever you think about them, you might need a little more time to figure things out. Once you start thinking about them and feel like you have completely accepted what happened, that’s a sign that you may be ready to move on. On the other hand, when you find a new potential partner, assess whether you find yourself comparing them to your ex. If you are not confident about how you feel about them, it is a sign that you are not ready to move on.

Assess your reasons for wanting to date again.

Dating someone because you enjoy their company is one of the best ways to show you that you’re ready. You might also be ready to start dating again if you’re excited about the idea of meeting and socializing with new people. On the other hand, you may need more time if your reasons for dating again are because you want to re-live your last relationship, feeling lonely and trying to fill the void, or you want to make your ex jealous. This shows that you are not ready.

Ask yourself if you feel self-confident.

 Usually after a breakup you may feel down, have less confidence, and blame yourself for the breakup. If you are not feeling great about yourself right now, that is a sign that you are not ready to move on until you have dealt with these emotions. Before you go back into dating, take time to assess your self-image. The more confident and self-assured you are, the easier it will be to build a satisfying and a healthy relationship moving forward. Feeling good about yourself is one of the signs you’re ready to start dating again.

Remember to trust your instincts and do what feels right for you Chomas, you don’t need to put pressure on yourself.

If you or a friend need advice or help, you can contact me here on Ask Choma, send me a Facebook Message, , an  Instagram message , a  Twitter DM, or a WhatsApp Message (071 172 3657).

Reasons Why Pre And Post-HIV Counselling Are Important

Posted on by Michelle Sephofane

You might be wondering why you should get pre and post counselling when home test kits are readily available. Receiving counselling encourages you to explore possible solutions to your results.

Why should I get tested for HIV?

Getting tested is the most important thing you can do for yourself and for others in the fight against HIV/AIDS. Knowing your status empowers you to make informed decisions. If you test negative, you will be able to adjust your sexual lifestyle to prevent future infections. If you are concerned about being HIV positive, testing will clarify these concerns. If you test positive, you will be able to prevent transmitting the virus to others.

What is Pre-test counselling?

Pre-test counselling is the counselling you get before taking an HIV test. The counsellor will ask you a few screening questions to see your readiness for the test and your knowledge about the virus. Here are some of the things the counsellor will discuss with you.

  • What motivated you to seek counselling?
  • What is counselling, and what is the role of the counsellor?
  • Can you tell me about your sexual history?
  • Do you have any health issues?
  • Information about HIV/AIDS, including the testing technique and what HIV-infected people may do to keep as healthy as possible for as long as possible.
  • How do you think a good, inconclusive, or negative result would affect your life, and how do you think you would respond if you received it?
  • What kind of support system do you have, and who would you inform if you tested HIV positive?

What is Post-test Counselling?

Post-test counselling is the counselling you get after the test. This is when the counsellor will go over some of the pointers in the pre-testing and will give you the results during this session. The counsellor will also give you the following information:

  • Give you your test result.
  • Give you information about various resources that can assist you if you test positive.
  • Assist you with revisiting the issues addressed during the pre-test counselling session and any plans you may have made.
  • Discuss any pressing issues and assist you in developing a plan of action.
  • Answer all of your questions and give you relevant information.
  • Discuss positive HIV living.
  • The results of HIV tests are never given over the phone. You can only receive your results in person.

Ongoing HIV/AIDS Counselling

Ongoing counselling is the kind of counselling that happens after you have received your test result. The aim of ongoing counselling is to encourage you to take control of your health and take charge of your life. Here you will be able to explore some themes that may arise if you are HIV+, such as:

  • Accepting your status
  • How to tell loved ones about your status
  • Plan for the future
  • Dealing with denial and strengthening your support system

Remember that even though you might feel like you don’t need it, counselling contributes greatly to accepting your status and becoming informed. The tools that you will gain from these sessions will help you and your loved ones navigate healthy living.

If you or a friend need advice or help, you can contact me here on Ask Choma, send me a Facebook Message, an  Instagram message, a  Twitter DM, or a WhatsApp Message (071 172 3657).

How To Deal With Anxiety Caused By Unemployment

Posted on by Michelle Sephofane

“It’s perfectly okay to admit you’re not okay.” Have you been having anxiety due to being unemployed?

Don’t panic, here are six tips to help you overcome the anxiety of unemployment:

Talk to your family and friends

Never be anxious about telling people you’re seeking for employment. You use an advantageous asset, your social circle, as you tell others about this knowledge. Your circle of relatives and close friends are the individuals who care most about your accomplishments since you cannot predict which companies are employing. So, talk to them to let them know if you require their assistance in building further connections.

Use the power of social media

Social media is your friend if used properly. Consider creating a LinkedIn account (or any other social media platform where professionals interact) and list your accomplishments and indicate that you are open for a new role in your field of expertise. This will give you exposure to a wide network and hopefully land you the dream opportunity you are looking for.

Exercise

Is a proven method for lowering anxiety and enhancing wellbeing. Training with weights, in along with aerobics, not only increases muscular mass but also boosts self-assurance which is important as you get ready for interviews and develop your marketing capabilities/ how to sell yourself. To stimulate your circulatory system flowing and enhance your attitude on the long term, make it a goal to exercise for a full hour every day.

Volunteer

There are several advantages to volunteering your time. Notwithstanding the reality that you have been unemployed, it is a great way to keep your mind sharp, develop new abilities, stay effective, maintain a schedule, and be aware of your own achievements. Additionally, it provides you with an appropriate answer to the question “So what have you accomplished before you left your previous job?” from an employer. Working as a volunteer is frequently treated equally by companies as paid employment.

Strive to be proactive & efficient

Don’t surrender to the urge to withdraw within yourself. Opportunity is provided by other individuals, therefore make sure you’re active in the community and involved in interests and tasks that maintain you renewed, concentrated, and creative. You cannot predict which chance connection will result in a future employment or referral. But if you stay at home all day, it won’t occur.

Venture into starting a small business

When it comes to employment, one could consider creative methods to make money. For example, you could start your own cleaning, ironing or washing clothes business. You could also learn how to cook, bake, sew and promote your skills and products through door-to-door advertising. You could charge clients by hourly rates and expand your business if required by employing additional staff members and investing in their schooling. You may grow items, do vegetable gardening, tutor students, write assignments, plait hair for individuals, and other activities besides housekeeping. Simply consider your strengths and use them to your advantage to advance professionally and financially. Is that not a great idea Choma?

If you or a friend need advice or help, you can contact me here on Ask Choma, send me a Facebook Message, , an  Instagram message , a  Twitter DM, or a WhatsApp Message (071 172 3657).

Depression: Root Causes and How To Get Help

Posted on by Michelle Sephofane

Are you experiencing mood changes, a lack of interest in school, wanting to be alone more often, a loss of appetite or not being able to concentrate? You could be experiencing symptoms of depression. It’s normal to have different moods, but when these symptoms persist, it’s important to alert your teacher, a friend, the school nurse or a family member.

Understanding the root cause of why you’re feeling this way?

You don’t have to go to a psychologist or psychiatrist at first, I would recommend visiting a General Practitioner i.e. a doctor in your area or even a local clinic. It is important to first receive a diagnosis. Alternatively, speaking to your friends, family, doing sports or even visiting religious sites helps. If are still experiencing any symptoms, then I would recommend seeking medical care. Seeking medical care for depression is not a once-off process, depending on your diagnosis, you will either be referred to a psychologist, or even be prescribed medications. It is extremely important to go for your regular check-ups and monitor your progress. Getting to the root causes of why you’re feeling this way is important, a professional can assist you with this. Reasons or root causes for example could be the death of a family member or friend, or perhaps bullying at school or even social media affecting your mental and emotional health. A technology and social media detox can also do wonders.

What happens if you don’t get the necessary help for depression?

We all deal with depression or tough life experiences in different ways. What works for someone else may not work for you. If we ignore our symptoms, these issues may affect us immediately, in the long-term or even much later in life both mentally and physically. As a teenager, you’re at real risk of suicidal thoughts and even suicide. You may practice self-harm e.g. cutting yourself or even severe mood swings. Patients experiencing depression tend to have unhealthy eating habits, either over or under-eating or indulging in unhealthy food habits, leading to issues linked to weight gain. In a depressive state you tend not to have energy, you may have severe mood swings, turn to substance use such as drugs and alcohol. You are at risk of other health issues such as anxiety and having panic attacks and even avoiding going to school.  If you’re in a vulnerable position you may also enter into relationships which could be toxic, or where you’re taken advantage of sexually.

What to do if someone you know is showing symptoms of depression?

  • Don’t judge, be there for the person, listen and keep these conversations private.
  • Try not to use stigmatizing language, you will notice throughout the article, I tried to avoid words such as ‘mental condition, disorder’, these experiences are completely normal.
  • Try to find and advise on help e.g. finding a doctor or encouraging that the person speaks to their family or teacher about this.
  • Support the person through the entire journey.
  • Get in touch with the South African Depression and Anxiety Group (SADAG) for help https://www.sadag.org/

About the Author: Dr Shakira Choonara is an award-winning public health practitioner, 2017 Woman of the Year in Health in South Africa and a Lancet Commissioner on Adolescent Health and Wellbeing.  Dr Choonara is appointed to roles at both UN Women and the World Health Organization. tweet/ insta/ threads @ChoonaraShakira

If you or a friend need advice or help, you can contact me here on Ask Choma, send a Facebook message or a Twitter DM, or a WhatsApp Message (071 172 3657).

Unpacking Autism: A Quick Look At Causes and Prevention

Posted on by Michelle Sephofane

What is Autism? According to Autism South Africa, Autism is a lifelong developmental disability which first displays itself in infancy and early childhood, causing delays in many basic areas of development, such as learning to talk, play, and interact with others. It’s important that we familiarize ourselves with Autism and its signs and symptoms. Here’s more:

What are the symptoms of Autism?

Early symptoms may include a marked delay in language or social development. Only a professional healthcare provider can assess and diagnose Autism.

Causes

Autism has no single known cause. Given the complexity of the disorder, and the fact that symptoms and severity vary, there are probably many causes, both genetic and environmental.

Complications

Known complications include,

  • Problems in school and with successful learning
  • Employment problems
  • Inability to live independently
  • Social isolation
  • Stress within the family
  • Victimization and being bullied

Prevention

There’s no way to prevent Autism, but there are treatment options. Early diagnosis and intervention are most helpful and can improve behaviour, skills and language development.

People often suffer in silence and do not seek treatment for their conditions due to misconceptions and stigma surrounding mental health issues. Mental health awareness is a critical initiative for increasing understanding of mental health conditions and increasing access to healthcare for those in need.

If you’d like to learn more about Autism and how you can support, visit Autism South Africa or call them on +27 11 484 9909.

If you or a friend need advice or help, you can contact me here on Ask Choma, send a Facebook message or a Twitter DM, or a WhatsApp Message (071 172 3657).

Introducing ADHD: Causes, Symptoms and Effects on Kids

Posted on by Michelle Sephofane

What is ADHD? ADHD (attention deficit hyperactivity disorder) is one of the most common neurodevelopmental disorders in childhood. It’s usually first diagnosed in childhood and often lasts into adulthood. Children with ADHD may have trouble paying attention, controlling impulsive behaviours (may act without thinking about what the result will be), or be overly active. Here’s more:

Signs and symptoms

It’s normal for children to have trouble focusing and behaving at one time or another. However, it is different with children diagnosed with ADHD. It’s important to note that a healthcare provider is the only person who is able to diagnose ADHD.

A child with ADHD might:

  • Daydream a lot
  • Forget or lose things a lot
  • Fidget
  • Talk too much
  • Make careless mistakes or take unnecessary risks
  • Have a hard time resisting temptation
  • Have trouble taking turns
  • Have difficulty getting along with others

Types

There are three different types of ADHD. Your healthcare provider is the best person to discuss the different types, and provide a proper diagnosis.

Causes

There are still studies being carried out on the causes and risk factors to find better ways to manage and reduce the chances of a person having ADHD. The cause(s) and risk factors for ADHD are unknown, but current research shows that genetics plays an important role.  Other causes found include,

  • Brain injury
  • Exposure to environmental risks during pregnancy or at a young age
  • Alcohol and tobacco use during pregnancy
  • Premature delivery
  • Low birth weight

Research doesn’t support the views that ADHD is caused by eating too much sugar, watching too much television, parenting, or social and environmental factors such as poverty or family chaos.

Treatment

ADHD is treated with a combination of behaviour therapy and medication. Good treatment plans will include close monitoring, follow-ups, and making changes to treatment or other factors if needed, along the way.

If you or anyone you know might be struggling with ADHD, visit  ADHASA (Attention Deficit and Hyperactivity Support Group of Southern Africa) at +27 11-888-7655 and info@ADHASA.co.za

If you or a friend need advice or help, you can contact me here on Ask Choma, send a Facebook message or a Twitter DM, or a WhatsApp Message (071 172 3657).

Struggling To Keep Fit? Here Are Some Easy Workouts

Posted on by Michelle Sephofane

Did you know that you don’t need a gym membership to stay fit and healthy this winter? There are many at-home exercises to ensure we stick to our fitness journey all year round. Here’s a few to try out:

Jump Rope

You can buy a skipping rope or use any rope at home for this one. The key is to start small; you can skip for 2 minutes when you start out. After 2 weeks you can push to 5 minutes or more. All you need to do is put a timer on and count how many jumps you make in that time.

Stair Stepping

Stair stepping is a great exercise to do in your home, even if you don’t have a set of stairs available. Find the biggest book you own (or a sturdy chair), put it in front of the TV, and step up and down while watching your favorite show. You may not work up a sweat like you would with a jump rope, but you will be keeping your body active and healthy.

The Plank

If you don’t have much time but want to build up your core muscles, this is the exercise for you. Get into a push-up position, but instead of bending your arms and moving down towards the floor, hold the position with your arms extended. Start off by holding the position for 30 seconds and add an additional 10 seconds every week.

Dancing

Dancing is an excellent way to burn calories and get your heart rate going while having fun. If you are in the privacy of your own home, there is no need to look like a pro. You can watch dancing exercises here.

Cleaning

Do not underestimate the power of the physical strength needed when cleaning. All the sweeping, vacuuming, and mopping is a lot of work and it’s enough to keep your heart rate up and sweating.

Water Bottle Weights

If you are looking to do some arm, shoulder, and back strength training, you can make your own weights by filling up water bottles. If using water bottles becomes too easy, use milk jugs. You can modify the exercise to your level by filling the jugs with water to the exact weight that you need. For a greater challenge, increase the water amount just a little bit each time you work out.

High Knee

This is a good replacement for running. To do this exercise, march in place or down a hall, and bring your knees as high as they can go.

YouTube Workouts

There’s a lot of workout routines on YouTube. You can find any kind of workout you want, and it’s a good chance to learn other forms of fun workouts such as yoga, pilates, stretch bend workout, cardio, and more.

When it comes to workouts, trying out a variety of workouts can help you understand more about your body, and what you like and don’t like. The most important thing is staying consistent Choma. Best of luck!

If you or a friend need advice or help, you can contact Ask Choma, send a Facebook message or a Twitter DM, or a WhatsApp Message (071 172 3657).

How To Prepare For Term 3

Posted on by Michelle Sephofane

The start of Term 3 may represent the midpoint through the year where you are heading to the end of the year examinations. This can be both scary and refreshing as you will get to take new classes that you may find challenging or worth the while. These are some of the things to help you prepare for term 3:

Reflect on the first and second terms.

When the first and second term is over, this is a good time to reflect on how you performed; you might find that you had some highs and lows, and this will help you prepare for what’s coming. Reflect on how you balanced your workload and if there were any unhealthy habits that didn’t help you; this will help you improve if there is a gap.

Preparation is everything.

Attending new classes can feel scary and overwhelming at first but it’s nothing you can’t handle. Preparing early has proved to yield good results. You can start by creating a study plan and deciding how much time you want to commit to one subject. Remember that some subjects might require more time than others.

Set goals.

When you have reflected on the past terms, use those reflections to help you be ready for the new term. You need to set goals which can be short or long-term, big or small, personal, or even school related, as long as the goal will help you to be motivated to be the best that you can be.

Master your learning style!

Everyone has a unique learning style, and you can master yours as well. When you understand your learning style, it will help you to understand your strengths and weaknesses, which can help you avoid making past mistakes.

Balancing life with school

It can be challenging balancing your personal life with school, but it is possible. It can be achieved by having a plan as to how much time you need to spend on your schoolwork versus the time you need to do chores or be with friends. You can also draw up a schedule where you list your activities and the time needed to do them. It is important to stick to it.

You can still have a great 3rd term, Choma, remember to ask for help when are having difficulties, everyone around is rooting for you.

If you or a friend need advice or help, you can contact me here on Ask Choma, send a Facebook message, an  Instagram message or a Twitter DM, or a WhatsApp Message (071 172 3657).