Month: January 2024

How To Deal With Sexual Pressure

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Good relationships are based on trust and mutual agreements. Feeling like you must have sex with your partner when you don’t want to, can have a great impact on you. Sometimes you wind up having sex with your partner to protect their feelings while neglecting your own. No one has the right to pressure you to have sex with them, even if you are dating.

What does sexual pressure look like?

This is when someone tries to take control, exploit, or influence your feelings, or thoughts into having sex with them, this can also be in a form of manipulation. An example would be your partner saying that you must have sex with them because you’re dating, even though you don’t want to. You then end up doing it just to please them.

Things you can do:

List your boundaries:

You need to be assertive when you feel pressured to have sex. Remind yourself that you have every right to say no and that there’s nothing wrong with that. What you want matters just as much as what your partner wants.

Seek out people who respect you:

Love and relationships aren’t about forcing people to do things they don’t want. One of the ways to ensure that you’re valued and not pressured to have sex is by being around people who respect your decisions.

Exercise your right to say “no!” 

A practical way to keep reinforcing your belief is exercising your right to say no. Know what your needs are, and what you want. Remind yourself that you don’t owe anyone anything.

Remember Choma, it’s your body and you don’t ever have to do anything you don’t want to do. Sex is not an obligation; therefore, it has to be on your terms.

If you or a friend need advice or help, you can contact me here on Ask Choma, send me a Facebook Message, a Twitter DM, or a WhatsApp Message (071 172 3657).

Is Postnatal Care Really Important?

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Postnatal care, also known as postpartum care, refers to the medical and emotional support provided to a woman after childbirth. This period is crucial for new moms as it plays an important role in supporting their physical and emotional well-being after childbirth. Here are some key reasons why post-natal care is important:

  1. Physical Recovery:

Childbirth is a significant physical event, and the body undergoes various changes during and after the process. Post-natal care focuses on aiding the body’s recovery, including healing from any childbirth-related injuries, stitches, or caesarean sections.

  1. Preventing Complications:

Proper post-natal care helps in identifying and addressing any potential complications early on. This includes monitoring for signs of infections, managing postpartum bleeding, and ensuring that any healing incisions are cared for appropriately.

  1. Emotional Well-being:

The postpartum period often brings a range of emotions, from joy and fulfilment to stress and fatigue. Post-natal care addresses the emotional well-being of new moms, providing support, guidance, and resources to cope with the emotional challenges that may arise.

  1. Bonding with the Baby:

Post-natal care encourages and facilitates bonding between the new mom and her baby. This bonding is crucial for the emotional development of both the mother and the infant and establishes the foundation for a healthy parent-child relationship.

  1. Nutritional Support:

Adequate nutrition is essential for a new mom’s recovery and for the production of breast milk. Post-natal care includes guidance on maintaining a healthy diet, staying hydrated, and taking necessary supplements to support the nutritional needs of both the mother and the baby.

  1. Monitoring Postpartum Health:

Post-natal care involves regular check-ups to monitor the mother’s health. Healthcare providers assess blood pressure, check for signs of postpartum depression, and address any concerns related to physical or mental well-being.

  1. Family Planning:

Post-natal care provides an opportunity to discuss family planning options and birth control methods. This allows new parents to make informed decisions about their family’s future.

  1. Promoting Self-Care:

New moms often put the needs of their babies before their own. Post-natal care emphasizes the importance of self-care, encouraging mothers to prioritize their physical and mental well-being. This includes getting enough rest, seeking support, and taking breaks when needed.

In summary, post-natal care is a comprehensive approach that addresses the holistic needs of new mothers, ensuring a smooth transition into motherhood and promoting the health and happiness of both mom and baby.

If you or a friend need advice or help, you can contact me here on Ask Choma, send me a Facebook Message, an  Instagram message, a  Twitter DM, or a WhatsApp Message (071 172 3657).

All You Need To Know About Pregnancy Awareness Week

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Pregnancy Awareness Week is dedicated to promoting awareness and providing education about pregnancy-related issues. This annual event is typically designed to empower and inform parents-to-be and the general public about all things pregnancy – ante-natal care, childbirth and post-natal care.

What’s the point of Pregnancy Awareness Week?

  1. Education and Empowerment:

The main goal is to educate and empower people, especially parents, with valuable information about pregnancy, childbirth, and early parenthood.

  1. Health Promotion:

Pregnancy Awareness Week aims to promote maternal and foetal health by emphasizing the importance of proper prenatal care, healthy lifestyle choices, and early detection of potential issues.

When is Pregnancy Awareness Week?

Pregnancy Awareness Week is typically observed annually. Although the time varies yearly, it will be observed from the 10th to the 16th of February 2024. 

What information is shared during Pregnancy Awareness Week?

  • Prenatal Care: Information about the importance of regular prenatal check-ups, proper nutrition, and overall well-being during pregnancy.
  • Childbirth Education: Discussions on different childbirth options, birthing plans, and strategies for a positive birthing experience.
  • Postnatal Care: Providing guidance on postpartum recovery, breastfeeding, and the emotional well-being of new mothers.
  • Family Planning: Addressing family planning and contraception options for individuals and couples.
  • Encouraging Informed Decisions: Pregnancy Awareness Week encourages individuals to make informed decisions about their pregnancy journey, fostering a sense of empowerment and confidence.

Pregnancy Awareness Week serves as an important platform to celebrate the journey of parenthood, educate individuals about the various aspects of pregnancy, and promote overall maternal and child well-being. It encourages a supportive and informed community, promoting positive pregnancy experiences and healthier outcomes for mothers and babies.

If you or a friend need advice or help, you can contact me here on Ask Choma, send me a Facebook Message, an  Instagram message, a  Twitter DM, or a WhatsApp Message (071 172 3657).

Embracing Your Shine: A Guide To Self-Love And Self-Care

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It’s easy to get caught up in the chaos and forget about the most important person in your world – you! So, let’s take a moment to dive into the art of self-love and self-care. Because, trust me, you deserve it, Choma.

  1. Celebrate Your Uniqueness:

Let’s start by acknowledging how wonderfully unique you are. Embrace your quirks, flaws, and everything that makes you, well, you. Your individuality is your superpower.

  1. Mirror Self-Talks:

Stand in front of the mirror, look into your eyes, and say something positive about yourself. It might feel a bit awkward at first, but it’s a simple act that can do wonders for your self-esteem.

  1. Treat Yourself Like Your Best Friend:

Imagine your best friend going through a tough time. What would you say to them? Now, say those words of kindness and encouragement to yourself. You are your own best friend, after all.

  1. Unplug and Recharge:

In a world that’s always connected, it’s crucial to unplug. Take a break from the digital noise, breathe, and recharge. Your mind, body, and soul will thank you.

  1. Dance Like Nobody’s Watching:

Turn up the volume on your favourite feel-good song and dance like nobody’s watching. Movement is not just for the body; it’s for the soul. So, shake off the stress and let the rhythm of self-love guide you.

  1. Nourish Your Body:

Treat your body like the temple it is. Fuel it with nutritious foods, stay hydrated, and savour the flavours. Remember, a happy body contributes to a happy mind.

  1. Learn to Say No:

It’s okay to say no. Boundaries are not selfish; they are an act of self-love. Saying no to things that drain your energy allows you to say yes to things that uplift your spirit.

  1. Journal Your Journey:

Grab a notebook and pour your thoughts onto the pages. Journaling can be a therapeutic way to understand your emotions, set goals, and track your journey towards self-love.

  1. Breathe Deeply:

Amid the chaos, take a moment to breathe. Deep, intentional breaths can centre your mind and bring you back to the present moment. You’ve got this.

  1. Surround Yourself with Positivity:

Your environment plays a significant role in your well-being. Surround yourself with positivity – uplifting quotes, supportive friends, or the calming embrace of nature.

Remember Choma, the journey to self-love is ongoing, and each step you take is a victory. Be patient with yourself, embrace the imperfections, and know that you deserve all the love and care in the world. Here’s to the beautiful journey that is you! 🌟💖

If you or a friend need advice or help, you can contact me here on Ask Choma, send me a Facebook Message, an  Instagram message, a  Twitter DM, or a WhatsApp Message (071 172 3657).

Boosting Confidence And Happiness: The Magic Of Positive Self-Talk

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Positive self-talk can help you get through low points and regain confidence. Being supportive of yourself brings a more open and productive perspective to a situation. Your self-talk and thoughts can shape your reality. Here are some effects of negative and positive self-talk:

Negative thinking

Negative self-talk is when you focus on preconceived ideas that you’re not good enough or always a failure or can’t do anything right, this is called negative self-talk. Some common forms of negative self-talk include:

  • You magnify the negative aspects of a situation and filter out all the positive ones. For example, you had a great day at work. You completed your tasks ahead of time and were complimented for doing a speedy and thorough job. That evening, you focus only on your plan to do even more tasks and forget about the compliments you received.
  • When something bad occurs, you automatically blame yourself. For example, you hear that an evening out with friends is cancelled, and you assume that the change in plans is because no one wants to be around you.
  • You automatically anticipate the worst without facts that the worst will happen. The drive-through coffee shop gets your order wrong, and then you think the rest of your day will be a disaster.
  • You think of all the things you think you should do and blame yourself for not doing them.
  • Keeping impossible standards and trying to be more perfect sets yourself up for failure.

The Power of Positive Thinking

A positive thinker looks on the bright side of challenges. Having a positive attitude means you have an optimistic outlook. An optimistic attitude means you have hope. You believe things will work out well and ultimately you will succeed.

This is how you can replace pessimistic thoughts with positive thoughts:

  • Change the way you think. Instead of saying, “I don’t want to do that, I’ve never done it before,” say, “I’ll try it because I may learn something new.”
  • Instead of thinking, “I’m never going to get better at this,” say, “I’ll try again until I figure it out.
  • Write down five things you’re grateful for each day. This will help you recognize and feel the positive vibes in your life.
  • Don’t compare yourself to others. It only fills your mind with negative thoughts and self-doubt. Reaffirm how awesome you are, and that your awesomeness has nothing to do with anyone else.
  • Post notes around your house where you’ll see them. You can post “‘I am good at this and that”, or “I am special and unique because of”, or “I am proud of myself for this and that”.

When your state of mind is generally optimistic, you’re better able to handle everyday life stresses more constructively.

Remember, if you or a friend need advice or help, you can contact me here on Ask Choma, send me a Facebook Message, a Twitter DM, or a WhatsApp Message (071 172 3657).

Do You Really Need A Break From The Socials?

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Taking a digital detox is important and is like giving your mind and body a refreshing break from the constant influx of information and screen time that characterizes our digital age. Take a digital detox. Taking a break from digital devices and online activities—can offer various benefits for your overall well-being. Here are some key advantages:

  1. Reduced Stress:

    Continuous exposure to digital devices, notifications, and information overload can contribute to stress. A digital detox allows you to step back, disconnect, and reduce the mental clutter.

  2. Improved Mental Health:

    Taking a break from social media and online interactions can positively impact mental health by reducing comparison, cyberbullying, and exposure to negative content. Reducing comparison in the social media world means taking steps to minimize the tendency to compare oneself to others based on what is presented on social media platforms.

  1. Enhanced Sleep Quality:

    The blue light emitted by screens can interfere with sleep patterns. A digital detox, especially before bedtime, can improve sleep quality and help regulate your circadian rhythm.

  1. Increased Productivity:

    Distractions from constant notifications and digital noise can hinder productivity. A break allows you to focus on tasks without interruptions, potentially leading to more efficient and effective work. 

  1. Better Physical Health:

    Reducing screen time creates opportunities for physical activities. Whether it’s exercising, going for a walk, or engaging in hobbies, a digital detox can contribute to improved physical health. 

  1. Stronger Relationships:

    Quality face-to-face interactions are crucial for building and maintaining strong relationships. Disconnecting from screens allows you to be present and engaged with the people around you. 

  1. Improved Concentration and Focus:

Constant multitasking and digital distractions can lead to decreased attention span. A digital detox provides a mental reset, improving concentration and focus. 

  1. Greater Self-Awareness:

    Taking a step back from digital platforms allows for self-reflection and self-awareness. You can better understand your thoughts, feelings, and priorities without external influences.

  1. Encourages Mindfulness:

    A digital detox promotes mindfulness by encouraging you to be present in the moment, appreciate your surroundings, and engage in activities without constant digital interruptions. 

  1. Break from Information Overload:

    The digital world is filled with an overwhelming amount of information. A detox allows you to step away from the constant influx of data, giving your mind a break.

Choma, remember a digital detox is like hitting the refresh button for your mind and soul. It’s your time to unplug, unwind, and rediscover the magic of life without a screen stealing the show. 🌟✨

If you or a friend need advice or help, you can contact me here on Ask Choma, send me a Facebook Message, an  Instagram message, a  Twitter DM, or a WhatsApp Message (071 172 3657).

Off To Varsity? Here’s How To Ease The Transition.

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Starting varsity is an exciting step in one’s life, but it can definitely be stressful and scary at the same time. Here are some tips on how to make the most out of your first year at varsity.

Keep these tips in mind once you start classes, but more importantly, don’t forget to have fun along the way.

Believe in yourself 

Don’t ever think you’re not good enough to be where you are. The fact that you are where you are shows how incredible you are. You picked your course for a reason, most likely because it’s something you have a strong interest in, and any difficulties will be worth it in the end.

Get ready to make new friends

It can be overwhelming when meeting many new people, but remember that countless students will start university at the same time as you. The great thing is, you’re bound to share interests with other people so put yourself out there so you can find them, and they can find you.

Be organised

Being organised is not just important for your mental health but also your academic performance. Have a calendar that you regularly update with your assignments and make a daily to-do list to be more productive. It’s also helpful to write down your tasks and plans for the day or week.

Ask for help

Don’t be afraid to speak up and ask questions. Lecturers are there to guide you and facilitate your learning experience. If there is something you don’t understand raise your hand and ask for clarification.

Participate in extramural activities

It’s essential to take good care of your mental, and physical well-being by participating in sports activities or social clubs. Take advantage of the extra-curricular activities offered to you. This is also an easy way to make new friends.

Be safe

You may experience feelings of freedom once you’re in varsity like you can do just about anything without any consequences but unfortunately, this is not the case. You will always need to take precautions. Use a condom, don’t walk the streets at night alone and avoid substance abuse.

Varsity can truly be the best time of your life, so don’t forget to have fun, make memories and invest in your future.

Remember, if you or a friend need advice or help, you can contact me here on Ask Choma, send me a Facebook Message, a Twitter DM, or a WhatsApp Message (071 172 3657).

I Didn’t Get Varsity Acceptance: Now What?

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Applying to your dream university and receiving a rejection letter can turn your world upside down. It can make you feel disappointed, stressed and as though your dreams are shattered. But don’t despair, you still have options.

Look for other Universities.

You may not have been accepted at your first-choice university but there are other institutions you can consider. Look at other universities that are still taking applications. You might find that you like your second choice better than your first.

Apply early to study the next year.

Make sure that you plan for the following year so that you avoid disappointment. You can apply while it’s still early for the upcoming year.

Look for TVET colleges that are still accepting applications.

 TVET colleges offer accredited courses that you can choose from, they can accept you no matter your results.

You can get a job.

As a new entrant in the job market, you need to be open-minded, flexible and willing to take on entry-level positions. Register your CV with as many employment agencies as possible. Usually, the agencies will have companies approaching them for temporary workers. Visit websites such as Careers24, Indeed and Pnet for opportunities.

Be careful of scams. Agencies usually get paid by the companies they recruit for. No legit agency will ask you to pay to get employment.

Rewrite the subjects you didn’t do so well in.

You may opt to rewrite some of the subjects early in the following year or repeat matric entirely to improve your results to stand a better chance of qualifying for admission.

Do a bridging course.

Some universities offer bridging courses to candidates who have marginally missed the qualifying criteria. Find out from the universities you are interested in if they offer bridging courses, you can also access this information in their prospectus.

Remember to not give up, you can still make it.

If you or a friend need advice or help, you can contact me here on Ask Choma, send me a Facebook Message, a Twitter DM, or a WhatsApp Message (071 172 3657).

Life After Matric 101: I’m Done With High School, Now What?

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Have you just completed matric and want to figure out what to do?  Whether you decide to study, travel or work, you can make the most of your experience by being prepared. Let’s explore some of your post-matric options:

Apply for University

You can use your Matric Certificate to study at university. This depends on the Matric Pass Levels you achieved. If you have a Bachelor’s Degree or Diploma Pass, you have a better chance of being accepted into university. However, your acceptance still depends on whether you meet other requirements that the university may require.

If you obtained a National Higher certificate and a National Senior Certificate pass, you could study at a college. Your chances of being accepted at a college are better than at a university.

Upskill Yourself

 Many institutions offer you the opportunity to upskill yourself while gaining highly desirable skills like an FET college. There are short courses available that are up to 6 months to a year that you can take.

Build Experience

If you would like to gain work experience, here are some of the options to consider:

  • Finding a part-time job: Look for entry-level jobs, you can visit websites such as Careers24, Indeed and Pnet for opportunities.
  • Becoming a nanny: If you love kids, offer to babysit or help clean around the house for a family member or neighbour and earn some money. This experience can open up opportunities for au pairing.
  • Pet walking: If you love animals, you can ask your neighbours if they need help walking or looking after their pets.
  • Getting a retail Sales job: Some stores in malls offer part-time or even weekend work. Visit your local mall and see what opportunities are available.

Your options after matric are endless. Remember to give it your all and you can have a fulfilling career journey.

If you or a friend need advice or help, you can contact me here on Ask Choma, send me a Facebook Message, a Twitter DM, or a WhatsApp Message (071 172 3657).

I Failed Matric. What Now?

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Failing matric can be a challenging experience, but it’s important to remember that it’s not the end of your educational or career journey. Here’s what you can do next:

Stay Calm and Positive:

It’s normal to feel disappointed but, try to stay calm and maintain a positive outlook. Focusing on solutions rather than dwelling on the problem will help you move forward.

Understand Your Results:

Take the time to understand why you didn’t pass. Identify specific subjects or areas where you struggled. This understanding can guide your next steps.

Speak to Your Teachers:

They can provide insights into your results, offer guidance on potential options, and support you in making informed decisions.

Consider a Rewrite:

You might have the option to rewrite specific subjects or the entire matric exam. Check with your school or relevant educational authorities for information on rewrite options and deadlines.

Explore Other Educational Options:

If rewriting the exam is not a viable or preferred option for you, explore alternative educational pathways. Consider vocational training, technical colleges, or adult education programs that can provide different routes to acquiring qualifications.

Research Skill Development Programs:

Look into programs or courses that focus on skill development. Acquiring new skills can enhance your employability and open up alternative career paths.

Reflect on Your Goals:

Take some time to reflect on your long-term goals and aspirations. Consider whether your current setback might lead you to a different path that better aligns with your interests and passions.

Work and Gain Experience:

Consider gaining work experience through learnerships, apprenticeships, or entry-level jobs. Practical experience can be valuable and may guide your future educational and career decisions.

Consider Online Courses:

Explore online courses or distance learning programs that allow you to continue your education while adapting to your own pace and schedule.

Remember that setbacks are a part of life; many successful individuals have faced challenges in their educational journeys. Use this as an opportunity for growth, learning, and discovering alternative paths to lead to a fulfilling future.

If you or a friend need advice or help, you can contact me here on Ask Choma, send me a Facebook Message, an  Instagram message, a  Twitter DM, or a WhatsApp Message (071 172 3657).