How To Have Control Over Your Sexual Decisions

When making decisions around sex, it’s important that you feel that they are the right ones for you. Sex should be a positive and enjoyable experience because it involves your body and your emotions and if you make the wrong decisions around it, it can have a negative impact on your life and health. Here’s what you should know:

Substance and alcohol abuse

Alcohol and other substances can affect the decisions you make about sex. Research shows that when people are intoxicated, they make decisions around sex which they would not normally make if they were sober.

Staying safe

If you’re having a night out and think you might have sex with someone, it’s important to decide beforehand what you want to do. Once you have made that decision, you need to stick to it. If you think you might have unprotected sex once you have been drinking or taking drugs, consider not doing so. This will help you have power in your decision-making.

Negotiating safe sex

If you want to practise safe sex, here’s what you can do:

  • Make sure you have a supply of condoms always available. Condoms offer dual protection from unwanted pregnancy, HIV and other STIs.
  • Be clear that you want to use a condom and if your partner disagrees, you can decide not to have sex.

Remember, if you or a friend need advice or help, you can contact me here on Ask Choma, send me a Facebook Messagea Twitter DM, or a WhatsApp Message (071 172 3657).

I’m living with HIV and I’m beautiful – Lorinah Khumalo

In a world often overshadowed by challenges and uncertainties. I have found myself as a strong mother, sister, aunt as well as a daughter who had the strength to embrace my HIV status as it was with full courage.

Consider the story of my life as that of a young woman who despite facing numerous challenges, has inspired many young women who could not come out and speak about their own HIV statuses to gather the courage and accept their situations as they were.

There is a metaphor that says, “Even the smallest star shines brighter in the dark“. In the same way, life has presented us with obstacles and difficulties. It is precisely in these moments of darkness and adversity that I have found myself as the small star that lightened the paths of those who thought that HIV was their worst darkest fear and encouraged them that life does not end because you are HIV positive.

I have encouraged many people to let go of the negative thoughts that keep wandering in their minds and inhibit their growth.  We should accept whatever God throws at us because there is always light at the end of the tunnel.

I decided to embark on a journey some years back where I launched my own Facebook page where I have not been ashamed to take my medicine (ARVS) on Facebook Live. I also have a great mass of followers who support me. My page has helped many women to be on medication and know their HIV statuses and be confident.

In conclusion, I would like to say everyone is equal and beautiful the way they are. This statement encourages us to seek out and cherish the light within ourselves and others. By embracing ourselves, we can find inspiration, hope and knowledge that, like the stars in the dark, night sky we each possess the capacity to shine brightly regardless of our challenges.

FB handle: I’m living with HIV and I’m beautiful.

Lorinah Siphiwe Khumalo

If you or a friend need advice or help, you can contact me here on Ask Choma, send me a Facebook Messagea Twitter DM, or a WhatsApp Message (071 172 3657).

Tips: How To Stay Fresh On Your Period

Hey there, period pals! 🌸 Let’s talk about a topic that’s as normal as your morning coffee but maybe not as openly discussed – staying fresh during your periods! We all know Aunt Flo can bring some challenges, but fear not, because I’ve got some tips to help you feel as fresh as a daisy throughout that time of the month. Let’s dive in!

Here’s your backstage pass to staying fresh and fabulous:

  1. Change Your Products Regularly:
  • Choose a menstrual health product that works for you.
  • Change them every 4-6 hours, or more often if needed.
  1. Stay Hydrated:
  • Drink plenty of water to help your body regulate temperature and reduce bloating.
  1. Good Hygiene Practices:
  • Take regular showers or baths to stay clean.
  • Use a mild, fragrance-free soap to avoid irritation.
  1. Wear Breathable Fabrics:
  • Opt for breathable cotton underwear to allow air circulation.
  • Avoid tight clothing that may trap heat.
  1. Carry Wipes or Tissues:
  • Keep wet wipes or tissues in your bag for a quick freshen-up.
  • Choose unscented options to avoid irritation.
  1. Manage Odor:
  • Change your products regularly to help control any odour.
  • Consider using panty liners for extra protection.
  1. Exercise and Stay Active:
  • Physical activity can help improve your mood and reduce period discomfort.
  • Change into fresh clothes after exercising.
  1. Healthy Diet:
  • Eat a balanced diet with plenty of fruits, vegetables, and whole grains.
  • Avoid excessive caffeine and salty foods that may contribute to bloating.
  1. Manage Stress:
  • Practice stress-relief techniques like deep breathing or meditation.
  • Enough sleep can also positively impact your overall well-being.
  1. Track Your Period:
  • Use a period tracking app to anticipate when your period is coming.
  • Being prepared helps you feel more in control.

Choma, remember, everyone’s body is different, and it’s okay to experiment with different products and routines to find what works best for you. Don’t be afraid to ask for advice from friends, older siblings, or trusted adults who can share their experiences and tips.

If you or a friend need advice or help, you can contact me here on Ask Choma, send me a Facebook Message, an  Instagram message, a  Twitter DM, or a WhatsApp Message (071 172 3657).

Tips: How To Cope With Festive Stress

As we dive into the holiday season, it’s all about the twinkling lights, cosy vibes, and… oh, the stress! 🤯 But worry not, because we’re about to unwrap some magical strategies to cope with holiday stress. Let’s “sleigh” this season together! 🎅🛷 #StressBusters 🌈✨.

Choma, here are some tips to follow:

  1. Budget BFF:

Your wallet deserves a break too. Set a budget, stick to it, and let the stress melt away.

  1. Plan the Attack:

Santa plans his route, and so should you! Plot your holiday tasks, so you’re not caught in the last-minute rush.

  1. Party Smart, Not Hard:

RSVP strategically. You’re not Santa – you can’t be everywhere. Choose wisely and enjoy the festivities guilt-free.

  1. Me-Time Magic:

Sneak in some “me time” amid the holiday chaos. Whether it’s a cosy read or snack time, recharge those batteries.

  1. Share the holiday load:

Get your family to join in on those family gathering preparations. Teamwork makes the dream work!

  1. Tech Timeout:

Disconnect from the digital world for a bit. Enjoy the present moment instead of worrying about presents.

  1. Embrace Imperfection:

Your holiday fest doesn’t need to be social media perfect. Embrace the imperfections and focus on the joy.

  1. Deep Breaths, Not Snowball Fights:

When stress builds up, take a deep breath. Inhale calm, exhale chaos. Repeat until the zen is restored.

  1. Gratitude Attitude:

Remember what the holidays are truly about. Gratitude can turn even the most stressful moments into cherished memories.

  1. Laugh All the Way:

Laughter is the best stressbuster. Watch a funny movie, attend a comedy show, or just giggle with loved ones. ‘Tis the season to be jolly, after all!

Choma, remember, you’re the director of your holiday blockbuster. Keep it merry, bright, and stress-free! 🌟🎅🚀💖.

If you or a friend need advice or help, you can contact me here on Ask Choma, send me a Facebook Message, an  Instagram message, a  Twitter DM, or a WhatsApp Message (071 172 3657).

Are New Year Resolutions Important?

At the end of the year, it’s common for people to make New Year’s Resolutions. Some people often opt out of this tradition because it can be a challenge to keep them throughout the new year, and no one wants to feel defeated.

So, are New Year’s resolutions important? This is a personal choice, and it can help you to keep track of your goals. When you decide to make a resolution, you’re deciding that you need to improve or change something. Whether it’s getting good marks, starting that business, changing some habits, or anything really. This self-reflection is important for everyone.

Setting Goals

Goals will not be the same for everyone, nor will the journey to achieving them. Know what you want and set your goals accordingly to achieve them. If you’re trying a New Year’s resolution this year, here are a few tips:

  • Be realistic. Ask yourself if the goal relates to something important in your life.
  • Spend time planning. First, consider what want to achieve and commit to it. You can have short-, medium- and long-term goals to make them achievable.
  • Take baby steps and adjust your goals as you go, you don’t have to put pressure on yourself.
  • Don’t beat yourself up when you get a setback.
  • If there may be challenges, be prepared to keep going.
  • If you are going to make any change, pick a time that’s right for you that will make it easier for you to achieve your goals.

Whether you’re setting a New Year’s resolution this year or not, take some time to reflect on the year behind you. Look at the habits you want to continue and the ones you want to let go of. Most importantly, go easy on yourself.

Remember, if you or a friend need advice or help, you can contact me here on Ask Choma, send me a Facebook Messagea Twitter DM, or a WhatsApp Message (071 172 3657).

 

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How To Stay Safe In The Festive Season

It’s the festive season and excitement is in the air. Everyone is getting ready to celebrate Christmas and the New Year. You’re allowed to have fun and do things that make you happy, but it’s your responsibility to always take safety precautions. Here are some tips on how you can stay safe during this festive season:

Stick to groups

Make sure you’re with a group of friends whenever you go out to the shopping mall, beach or a party. There is safety in numbers.

Download the Namola app

Namola is a free crime response app that was created for safety reasons. It helps you receive emergency, crime, accident, and medical help when you need it the most- at the click of a button.

It’s compatible with Android as well as iOS, so download this App on these links:

Google Playstore

Apple App store

Avoid secluded places                                   

Lonely and dark places can be dangerous. Avoid places like these so you don’t risk getting robbed and/or injured. Take an alternative route if there is one.

Don’t drink and drive

Alcohol is involved in 40% of all fatal car crashes in South Africa. Drinking and driving is a criminal offence, and you don’t only put your life at risk, but other road users as well.

When you are at a party or a get-together, make sure the designated driver does not drink alcohol so you can have a safe trip back home.

Always tell someone about your whereabouts

Let someone know where you’re going and the people you’ll be with. This will help them to know where to locate you should anything happen.

Be cautious and vigilant

Whatever you do this festive season, it’s important to be aware of your surroundings. Don’t be on your phone while you’re walking because you won’t be fully alert to what is happening around you- which can make you an easy target for criminals. Be vigilant when you’re out with friends and family by looking after your drinks and belongings to avoid consuming a drink that has been spiked or losing your valuables.

Remember to put your safety and those around you first whenever you go out. Don’t forget to wear your seat belt; seat belts save lives.

Remember if you or a friend need advice or help, you can contact me here on Ask Choma, send me a Facebook Messagea Twitter DM, or a WhatsApp Message (071 172 3657).

How To Eat Mindfully During The Holidays

The festive season is all about indulging in good food. With all the obligations and preparations around this time, it’s easy to neglect your plans for health, wellness, and weight goals. Here are some great tips to help keep stay on track with your health goals while still having a happy festive season:

Pick Healthier Options 

You don’t have to give up your favourite foods and desserts if you maintain a balanced diet. However, keep in mind that food’s main purpose is to fuel your body. Make sure you add vegetables and fruits to get the right nutrients.

Pay close attention to portion sizes

Serving yourself larger portions than normal can encourage you to eat more, even if you would have been satisfied with a smaller amount. Overeating can cause unpleasant side effects such as discomfort, heartburn and temporary feelings of being too hot or dizzy.

Check to see how hungry you are before you take your first bite.

Ask yourself if you are eating because the food is in front of you, or if you are truly hungry. You may find that you’re not hungry at all, or at least not as hungry as you thought. This is the perfect time to recognise these triggers and try to substitute them with other activities instead of eating. You could call friends/family, to do some of that Christmas preparations, read or go for a walk to avoid eating when you’re not hungry.

Be drink-aware.

It’s easy to forget to drink enough water when you’re busy. Water is essential for our bodies to function correctly. Limit the intake of alcoholic beverages as they contain a lot of calories and can result in you eating more food than you would when you are not drinking.

Keep moving.

It’s important to exercise throughout the festivals of food. Physical activity has many benefits. Go for a walk or run. Consistency is key, so try and stick to your exercise plan during this time.

It’s possible to build a positive relationship with food, you don’t have to give up your favourite indulgence. Mindful eating will help you nourish your body the right way.

Remember if you or a friend need advice or help, you can contact me here on Ask Choma, send me a Facebook Messagea Twitter DM, or a WhatsApp Message (071 172 3657).